The Younger Agent - Natasha Romanoff x OC

Chapter 11 - Snack Box

By the time Natasha had reached her room the guilt was eating her up, but instead, she showed this as anger. Pure anger. Taking off her heels, she launched them across the room, watching as they hit the wall with a loud thud. Sighing, she ran her hands through her hair and tried to compose herself, but it didn't really work. 

A few seconds later, she heard Eleanor's door close down the hallway, louder than normal, making the guilt bubble up further but also the anger rose as well. She had abandoned her friend after she was the one who tried to initiate going further. Now Natasha didn't know what to do. 

She began aggressively getting her nightclothes out and doing her nighttime skin routine. Once she had finished washing her face, she looked in the mirror and just froze, glaring at herself. She pushed back the intrusive urge to punch the mirror as that really would have been an overreaction and a painful one at that. She just couldn't seem to calm herself down, and she usually could so it was frustrating her that she couldn't, it was a vicious circle. 

She left the bathroom and pondered what to do next. She stared at the door scowling, jaw clenched. Debating whether to leave and try and resolve the situation. No. She wouldn't, she had allowed herself to become too vulnerable over the last few months and she wasn't going to let it go any further. After being told one thing for her entire life, a certain set of words was swirling through her head loudly, her subconscious seemingly yelling at her. 

Love is for children.

She couldn't do this. But she didn't want to hurt Eleanor either, one of the only people who had genuinely been there for her in life, no tricks, just trust. However, she was also very angry with Eleanor, she is the one she had been vulnerable with, she knew that it was irrational and that it wasn't her fault really, but if she had one person that she was going to direct this anger at, it would be Eleanor. 

In Nat's mind, the only option she could see was to try and freeze her out, she didn't know how to deal with these new emotions, and so just wanted to ignore them and throw herself into her work. She was here to do a job, not to make friends. It would be painful, but she would do it. She had to, she had to protect herself, and this was the 'easiest' way to do it. 

Nat did just that, she started waking up earlier to get food, and went straight to her office, she ignored all messages on the trio's group chat. When Clint had returned back to work he was left very confused as to why Nat was suddenly giving them the cold shoulder, and why Eleanor just seemed so... sad. 

She had succeeded in doing this for a little over a week so far, and it was killing her inside. But she only saw this as a weakness still, and so continued committing to her freeze-out plan. Whenever she saw the other woman in the hallways she felt a pang of pain in her chest, but would always turn and walk away anyway. What she didn't know is that 90% of the time Eleanor saw her walking away, and her heart broke each time. 

Whenever Nat was with Clint they kept things relatively normal, if he so much as tried to bring up the situation he would receive a threatening glare that made him silence himself quickly. They managed to maintain their usual friendship during this, but it was putting a bit of a strain on them not talking about the elephant in the room, and Clint was trying hard to make sure they were both okay. It was like being at school again for him, he really was not happy with the situation. 

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Eleanor had to wake up early for a group training day. She was struggling to get going early, recently her motivation had just dropped, she was unhappy, and it was hard to keep herself going in this state. Beating herself up for what was happening with Natasha, she was mentally exhausted. 

Slowly getting ready for the day, she made her way down to the cafeteria and was met with the one person who had been plaguing her mind for over a week. She hesitated to go in but had to, or Maria would push her down the stairs or something for being late. Nat hadn't noticed her yet, so she walked over to the coffee machine and started pushing the relevant buttons for a black coffee. Whilst waiting she stood like a statue, afraid to move in Nat's presence in case she immediately left or something.