I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director (Type-Moon Fanfiction)

Chapter 37: The Dreaded May Sickness

Fuyuki City, Matou Family Residence.

"Assassin! You've used way too much oil in this dish! Zouken has high cholesterol, are you trying to send him off straight to the afterlife?!"

"Lancer! Are you deliberately trying to sabotage me? Who grills fish without gutting it first? Do you think this is the 1st century AD?"

"Rider! Why on earth did you put so much potherb mustard in the rice? What? Do you want to steam-cook Shirou? Don't waste our food!"

"Berserker! Did you drag a whole calf into the kitchen again? How many times have I told you, this kitchen can't handle roasting an entire calf!"

"Sakura! You're not allowed to secretly throw Grandfather's worms into the pot! Do you want to ruin everyone's appetite?!"

...

"So, that's how it is. Master, Archer is going insane because of them."

Sitting on the living room sofa, Arturia repositioned the phone's receiver near her ear and said with a wry smile, "Everyone is full of energy, tirelessly causing trouble for Archer."

Fate/stay night had crossed over 2 billion yen at the Japanese box office. The excited Heroic Spirits were planning to enjoy a good meal to celebrate. As a result, the Matou family's kitchen had turned into a stage for EMIYA to angrily scold them.

EMIYA probably never imagined that these unpredictable Heroic Spirits could become so wild, and that one of the Matou family's young ladies was plotting to throw her grandfather's prized collection into a pot.

"So, did you cause any trouble for... Archer?" On the other end of the phone, a somewhat tired Shinji asked.

Arturia replied firmly, "Absolutely not. Only Gilgamesh and I haven't caused any trouble for Archer. It's a matter of our royal dignity."

"Come on~" Shinji yawned, "Gilgamesh doesn't even bother to move, and you were probably banned from the kitchen, right? Otherwise, the whole banquet would be unnecessary since you'd eat everything before it even left the kitchen."

"That's absolutely not true!"

Arturia vehemently retorted, but given the way she spoke with a bit of a lisp, it was highly likely that Shinji's assumptions were close to the mark.

"Master, you're being too unfair. Even if I am good at eating, I would never do something like that."

"..."

"Master? Master!"

Arturia shouted loudly twice when she didn't hear a response from Shinji on the other end of the receiver.

"Huh?"

Shinji made a sound like someone being abruptly awakened from a nap.

With a serious tone, Arturia asked, "Master, you're really something. Were you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, I zoned out for a moment." Shinji used his fingers to rub his cheek, sounding apologetic. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing..."

Arturia paused for a moment and then asked, "Master, are you okay?"

"Well... I'm feeling a bit sleepy."

Unable to resist his drowsiness, Shinji yawned again.

"Sorry, Arturia. I need to rest here; let's chat tomorrow."

Shinji, unable to resist the urge to sleep, quickly hung up the phone.

"Master..."

Arturia pinched her chin and fell into thought as she looked at the receiver with a busy tone.