So High School

I might just die it would make no difference

TW

There was no point in any of it anymore. No point in living, no point in getting up each morning just to be thrown down by the ways of the world, by society. Taylor needed a way out, a way to end this never ending circle. And she found just the way to do it.

She was done. Done with the way every news article was tearing her down, done with the way every time Travis came home from work it would end in an argument. She hated the standard she had to live up to, the cage she had to be held back in. She felt like she was an exhibit, an animal at the zoo. Trapped in her fishbowl, just there for everyone to gawk at. For everyone to throw insults at, to beat down time and time again. She didn't have feelings. Of course she didn't have feelings. She was just an animal at the zoo. Except she did have feelings, and she was human, feeling every word uttered about her to the depths of her bones.

At first Travis was in the fishbowl with her, he was there to be with her. But things had changed. They had changed.

That one fateful evening she knew her time had come. She was tired of getting beaten down, of taking everything anyone said about her to heart. She was tired of letting society control her, and she was tired of hurting. Maybe instead of hurting it was better to feel nothing at all?

There was one thing stopping her, one thing that was keeping her from disappearing from existence. Travis.

Travis had just arrived back from work, early in the morning. He was exhausted, and as he entered the bedroom he could see that Taylor was fast asleep, snuggled under the covers. Her face was emotionless, calm. He smiled. He was tired of the arguing, of the yelling; he just wanted life to go back to how it used to be, their honeymoon phase. Maybe he would talk to her in the morning. Yes, that's right. He'd sit her down and they'd have a conversation, talk about everything that was bothering them. And then they'd be all fine.

Before getting into bed he pulled out the top drawer, taking out the little black box. He had bought it a couple of months back, before all the arguments had started. He had wanted to marry her, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. And he still did. He smiled as he put the box away. Soon.

Soon they'd get married, have kids, grow old and grey together. Soon.

He pulled back the covers, ready to slide into bed. He glanced down at the mattress and screamed.

He wouldn't care, would he? He probably hated her, was tired of her being snappy all the time, was tired of her ruining their relationship. He would want to break up with her soon, Taylor was doing him a favour. He wouldn't care.

"I was going to propose, we were going to get married" he sniffed, brushing away a tear as he stared down at her, lying so still in that hospital bed. The blanket ready to be laid over her head, the moment when he would never see her again.
"I love you so so much, why would you do this?" A nurse behind him, gently touching his shoulder to say ' it's time to go'.

Taylor climbed into bed, switching on the bedside lamp. The blade in her hand, she was ready. Travis would find her in the morning, and surely he'd be happy? She would have done him a favour. The world was better off without her.

Travis couldn't sleep for weeks after, and he never slept in their bed again. He wanted her, he needed her. He couldn't do this without her. Why would she do that? Was she really in that much pain that she just decided to end it all?

The blade dragged across her wrist, immediately slicing into a vein. And the other wrist, the blade now chucked onto the floor. Taylor relished in the pain, in the feel of the blood dripping down her wrists. She laid down, pulling the blankets over her. She wanted to go out in a calm way, in a peaceful way.

"Happy 35th birthday baby" Travis sniffed, pressing his lips to the cold headstone. "I miss you every day, I still don't know why you did it. I love you so much baby, I don't know how I'm managing to do it without you."

Her eyes slipped closed as she drifted off into a never ending sleep.

A/N I love you guys <3