Mute Beauty

Chapter 113: Devotion

"Nightmare?"

What did Ran Ling mean by that?

She called herself Yu Ting's nightmare, as if she wanted Yu Ting to wake up from this dream.

Ran Ling going missing was one thing. Not answering her calls was another. But letting her search for so long—did it mean she truly wanted to leave Yu Ting? Had she decided she no longer wanted to be with her?

No, that couldn't be it.

Yu Ting knew she was going through something difficult. Just how deep did her pain have to go for her to pick up smoking despite her heart condition? When she'd learned to smoke at eighteen, what agony had she endured back then?

It was clear to Yu Ting that Ran Ling needed her. She wasn't some unbreakable fortress, as Pei Ya had claimed.

Yu Ting loved seeing her vulnerable side, loved the ache in her own heart as she faced Ran Ling's fragility. It was like she could feel the depth of Ran Ling's pain firsthand.

She understood now, resolutely. No matter what Ran Ling said next, she would stand by her completely. Comfort her. Be there for her.

Ran Ling's face was etched with tension, her words heavy with anguish. "I've done terrible things to you. I wanted you to be obedient, to mold you into what I wanted, regardless of your feelings. If you hadn't met me, you wouldn't have endured all that."

Tears, heartache, sleepless nights that left her exhausted and emaciated—these were the nightmares Ran Ling had brought into Yu Ting's life.

Yu Ting nodded. "Like what? Tell me again what you did to hurt me."

Ran Ling paused, surprised by the question.

Yu Ting was asking her to go over all the ways she'd hurt her, yet for Ran Ling, it was almost impossible. The shadows of past misunderstandings made her afraid to revisit those memories, afraid Yu Ting would once again feel repulsed by her.

Yet, in Yu Ting's gaze, there was no trace of reproach.

Her eyes were warm, inviting Ran Ling to continue.

"I purposely hurt you on your birthday... I knew..."

"I know," Yu Ting interrupted softly, "but you came to comfort me right after, didn't you? You waited all night in that bar for me. You knew, didn't you, that even without your words, my birthday would still have been painful? Holding me in that bar, soothing me despite my anger—that night, I realized how special you were to me, how irreplaceable."

As she spoke, Yu Ting's eyes crinkled with a gentle smile. The words that might have stung were softened by her tender acceptance of Ran Ling's flaws.

"What else? What else did you do?"

Ran Ling, stunned, stumbled over her words. "I... I orchestrated our divorce, causing your condition to worsen, and you..."

"Yes, but those were my consequences to bear," Yu Ting replied, accepting the pain and mistakes with grace. "I lied. I failed to see how much you meant to me, how I took you for granted."

Brushing past it, she asked again, "Is there more?"

"You... you're attached to my scent. I crafted it, tailored to your preferences, and would burn that incense every time we were close so that you'd come to associate it with me. So you'd miss me. When you couldn't see me, or smell it... you'd feel... restless."

So that was it? No wonder Yu Ting had searched everywhere for that scent, unable to find it anywhere. No wonder that small sachet Ran Ling had given her calmed her so completely during difficult moments.