Without Toppings

Chapter 46

Rehab (R-18)

Alam niyo ang masarap mga tropa? Bukod sa buong pagkatao ko, may taong nakayakap sa 'kin pagkagising na pagkagising ko.

I immediately felt the weight of my man wrapped around my body. Cid was sleeping behind me, using me as a pillow, his arm perfectly draped over me.

Dumako ang mata ko sa likod niyang nakabalandra sa harapan ko. He was half-naked — we slept like this last night after crying and talking for about an hour. Naiilang pa nga ako kagabi nang maghubad siya ng pang-itaas niya, pero alam ko naman na ganito talaga siya matulog kahit dati pa.

I moved my left hand and grazed my fingers along the defined lines of his back. I smirked at the feel of his skin against my touch. His broad back was more sculpted now compared to before. 

Pati ang katawan niya, mas buo at mas malaki na ngayon. At sa bawat hagod ng daliri ko sa balat niya, parang ako rin ang nakikiliti. Sarap ng ganitong view sa umaga, oh!

Natigilan ako nang maramdaman ang bahagyang pag-galaw ni Cid kahit tulog. His veiny arms held me close, as if he was scared to let go again. 

Even his leg was draped over mine — literal na ginawa niya akong human pillow. Buti na lang nasa left side siya, at hindi niya natatamaan ang injured kong braso.

"Ang gwapo mo pa rin talaga," bulong ko at hinagod-hagod ang buhok niyang magulo.

Last night was a sigh of relief for both of us. Literal na parang naghilom lahat ng sugat at galit na ikinimkim ko matapos marinig ang buong kuwento kay Cid.

I heard everything I needed to clear the doubts in my head — all from him. I never actually asked, but Cid seemed to know exactly where to start last night, as if he could feel the weight of my unspoken questions, especially about his relationship with Constantine.

I found out it was true — he and Con did have a relationship back in high school. But it wasn't anything serious. They were both just exploring, and for Cid, it was a one-sided love.

Their relationship only lasted five months. Con never took it seriously. He toyed with Cid, played around, and left him more conflicted than ever. That heartbreak, along with Cid's personal traumas, made him pull away from love altogether.

Even after their mutual breakup, Con stayed concerned, or maybe just involved in Cid's life, especially knowing what Cid was going through with his father. 

And that night I delivered pizza to his unit? That was the night Con asked him to move to the States and pursue his career.

And Cid... he was torn. Con's offer came at a time when he knew he couldn't chase that dream anymore, not with his leg injury. He wasn't fit to perform like he used to. 

And when I met Con that night at the café, he already knew me. He said all the right things to me — or the wrong ones, depending how you look at it. He twisted my thoughts, manipulated me, and planted every doubt I ended up believing. 

Kahit 'yong halik na binigay niya kay Cid no'ng birthday ni Venice? It wasn't about love — it was to break my trust, to make me leave. Because to him, I was in the way. Con saw me as a distraction, an obstacle to Cid's success.

And after hearing everything, I couldn't help but feel guilt and anger toward myself — for being so damn immature all these years!

I kept blaming myself the whole night and repeatedly asked for Cid's forgiveness. But Cid, being my comfort he's always been, just held me and said it was fine. That he deserved it.

Which I know he didn't.

Nagkalinawan kami, nagkapatawaran, at nagkaunawaan. It was a shared realization — that love should always be bigger than ego. Especially mine. And that's something I'll remind myself of, over and over.