Alive, Awake and Pessimistic
Sunday
I woke up not remembering my dream while I was asleep earlier. It seemed to me that reality is my nightmare. Last night, I was wishing if God could just take my life. Because I don't have the courage to take it myself.
But here I am. I'm still alive.
Why God? Why?
~
Masama pa rin ang loob ko kay EJ. I was thinking of being a good riddance to him for a while. I didn't text him goodmorning nor reply to his text.
EJ: "Good morning crazy. Im on my way to school. Papatulong ako sa mga stujante kong sa paperworks ko."
Crazy pala huh? -_-
I decided to do the laundry. Nilabhan ko lahat. Tapos, naligo na rin ako. Nagpakulo ako ng tubig with Ate Chelle's electric kettle dahil naubusan na ko ng gas. Nagluto rin kasi ako ng meatloaf bilang pag-iwas sa pagkain ng malalansa at baka lumala pa yung rashes ko sa katawan.
Hindi ako pumunta ng tindahan namin today. I remembered mom asked me last night to check on the Derma Clinic tapos tawagan ko na lang daw siya kung open. Sayang daw kasi kung pupunta kami tapos wala naman. She has a point. Gusto ko rin siyang mapatingnan kaya I decided to go for it.
I dressed and went to the Derm Clinic at Pateros. Bukas ang Clinic pero hindi naman daw available ang doktor. Balik na lang daw ng 2PM bukas. May pasok ako kaya malabo. -_- I was debating with myself whether or not dumeretso na ko sa St. Lukes. May Intellicare card naman ako but I was hesistant dahil hindi pa ko nakapunta dun before. Plus the fact na wala akong kasama. Haaay.
Instead of going to St. Lukes, I decided to buy myself a medicine and some groceries at Nesabel. I bought 6 tabs of Celestamine for 19 each. Hay.. Ang gastos ng may allergy. -_-
Tumagal ako sa Nesabel dahil ang daming namimili at sobrang haba ng pila. Naabutan pa ko ng cut-off. Nagpalit pa ng kahera bago pa ma punch yung mga items ko. Kainis.
Dumaan rin ako sa San Roque Parish just to pay God a visit in his house. Dun sana ko kahit sa gilid lang mag stay but then it seemed there's some renovation going on. I guess I would just talk to him in a silent prayer. So I decided that it's time for me to go home.
Me: "Kakauwi ko lang. Ganun pa din. Magpapa check up sana ko kaso walang available doctor."
EJ: "Saan ka galing?"
Me: "Sa skin clinic. Magpapacheck up nga sana."
EJ: "What happened?"
Me: "Di ba nga may skin allergy ako. Di pa nawawala.."
EJ: "Until today? Hala :( San kaya galing yan :("
Me: "Siguro sa alikabok dun sa book warehouse."
EJ: "*deep sigh* :( Whats plan B?
May alternate doctor ka ba?"
Me: "Wala. Parang katulad lang ng dati. Hntayin na lang hanggang sa mawala."
EJ: "Hereditary ba yan?"
Me: "Ewan ko."
EJ: "Pacheck upan mo na yan pot. Para may prevention ka na din or alam mo na yung cure the next time na mangyari yan~"
Me: "Wala namang cure. Malamang mamamahaling cream lang or gamot yung irereseta sakin. Besides, highly sensitive skin talaga ko. Sa maraming bagay.. sa alikabok, maduming tubig, some seafoods na hindi naluto ng maayos, etc."
