A Daze To Nostalgia

Before Nostalgia

BEFORE NOSTALGIA

"Please..please do anything," I heard a familiar voice saying these words. "Gawin niyo lahat ng makakaya niyo just please.." Nakakapanghina ng loob dahil yung boses  na yun, naramdaman kong nawawalan na siya ng pag-asa. Ako pa kaya na mismong nakikipaglaban sa sitwasyon na ito?

Ang daming ingay  at ramdam na ramdam ko ang tensyon sa lahat ng tao sa paligid ko. Bakit? Ganoon na ba talaga kalala?

"Yes Ma'am, we'll do anything," A man said in a very strong voice trying to hide his nervousness. Kilala ko ang nurse na to. 

Naramdaman ko ang pag-ikot sa akin, sa katawan ko o sa kamang hinihigaan ko ngayon. Sinubukan kong imulat ang mga mata ko kahit na hirap na hirap na ako pero pagmulat ko umiikot rin ang paningin ko. Hindi sapat ang pagiging lasing para maipaliwanag ko ang nakikita ko. Sobrang nakakahilo na. Hanggang sa naramdaman ko nanaman ang bigat sa dibdib ko. Tinignan ko ito at bigla na lang naiyak dahil wala naman akong nakita. Nararamdaman ko ang pagtibok ng puso ko at parang lalabas na ito sa katawan ko. Mas lalo akong naiyak nang biglang sumakit na rin ang ulo ko.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sinigaw ko lahat na para bang makakatulong ito sa sitwasyon ko ngayon. Sinigaw ko na para bang huling beses ko nang magagawa iyon. Sinigaw ko hanggang sa tingin ko mauubos ang boses ko.

I felt a lot of people with white clothes tried to slowly push me back on my bed. Sinubukan nila akong pakalmahin pero kung kaya ko, gusto ko na lang matawa dahil hindi umeepekto ang lahat ng iyon sa akin. I screamed again and again just because my whole body is aching already. It's like every nerve on my brain was pulled by a rusty utensil and my heart was smashed into pieces, my lungs, I can feel my lungs and they're painful as hell. I can't breathe anymore. 

"Dorothy, breathe. Do not give up," they keep telling me these words. Paulit-ulit. Nakakarindi na.

I tried to open my eyes again and witnessed a scene which I think I'll be hating forever on my whole existence. These people in white clothes, with white masks keep walking back and forth and keep inserting some wires on my arms and body. Hanggang sa makita ko ang isang lalaki na pinakapinuno sa lahat ng grupong ito. He's holding something and I think he's going to inject me with it.

"I'll keep you alive, Faith." said the doctor while he walks towards me. I immediately recognized his crying face.

Doctor Cruz. My father.

"I love you, Faith," he said then injected something on my arm.

Slowly, the hell feeling I felt before was even greater now. This painful feeling feels like I am burning. Not only the outer part of my body but every organ, every tissue, every cell is burning on me. This feels like ten hells!

I screamed as loudly as I can, thinking it can ease the pain but it didn't. Until I feel like I am drowning.

Drowning.