Butterfly [A Harry Styles Fanfiction] *COMPLETED WITH SEQUEl* {Book 1}

Chapter 51: Sleeping With The Enemy

Cami's POV:     

I drove for hours as if I was on autopilot. I paid no attention to where I was going or the cars surrounding me. It was like I was in a dream, like I couldn't tell if I was awake or not. I was dazed and completely unable to think about anything other than Harry's words. He'd asked me to move in with him and then broke up with me, in all but five minutes. Just this morning he was calling me 'love' and secretly plotting surprises for me and now we were broken up, just like that. After all of the back and forth and our efforts to make our relationship work, we were done. In a matter of minutes things went from perfect as can be, to worse than they ever have been. My mother's death was hard, but the only thing that got me through it was Harry. What was I supposed to do now? Where was I supposed to go? I broke my rules for him and then he broke my heart. I thought he was the one exception. I thought that maybe he could be the one guy in the world to make me believe that love still existed, to make me feel loved. He did all of that, only to rip it out from under me when I least expected it.

All I could do was drive and accept the fact that I lost him. I didn't bother fighting the feeling of my whole heart crumbling, I knew it was inevitable. I was lying to myself if I ever thought I could hold on to him. I thought that if I just tried hard enough to forget my worries and fears that we could overcome them. I never fathomed that my constant fear of losing Harry would be the reason he left me.

The last thing I wanted to do was go home. If Charli was home, there was no way I could hide how broken I felt or hold in the tears that I was fighting away. Even if she wasn't, being alone was even more unappealing than facing my best friend. The solace, the silence, it would make everything I was feeling that much worse. To be left alone with your thoughts when they were the last thing you wanted to surface was the worst kind of torture. You can't escape your mind and you certainly can't just forget about it either. If I learned anything from suffering through the worst year of my life, distractions and alcohol were the only things that silenced haunting thoughts or painful memories.

As I drove by Bandit, I nearly lost all of the little control I had left in my body. Even the slightest reminder of Harry burned my insides like the first sip of alcohol. As much as I was tempted to pull in and forget about why I felt like my heart was burning me alive at the bottom of a shot glass, one of Harry's employees would call him when I got out of control. I already knew I wouldn't remember what happened in the next few hours in the morning, in fact I was counting on that. I didn't want it to somehow land me back at Harry's house out of pity for the fact that he broke my heart in half. Seeing his face would literally make my heart burst and not in a good way.

Bandit was out of the question, although it was tempting since it was the closest bar in sight. I shook the idea out of my head and drove on for a few more miles. Not paying attention to the roads, or the path I had taken, caused me to take a wrong turn. The main roads were long in the distance and the side streets I trailed along were small and dingy. I was never one to explore this side of town and this experience solidified why. The houses were small and most looked like they should be condemned. Somehow within the darkness, a drab sign was glowing bright against a dirty window that read "Cold Beer". Without thinking twice, I rounded the corner and pulled into the parking lot of the little dive bar that had a drab sign that said "THE CAVE". I certainly thought the name was fitting, since it was as dark and dreary as one. I barely paid attention to my parking job, taking the closest one to the entrance. Girls in very little clothing lingered on every corner, most of them accompanied by men who could pass as truckers. I ignored the prying eyes of each person I passed by, trying my best to mind my own business and get inside. A large group of men, all of which had white beards and large beer bellies were stood in front of the door, with a cigarette between their lips. I could feel their eyes burn into my back side as I tried to get to the door and get inside.