Butterfly [A Harry Styles Fanfiction] *COMPLETED WITH SEQUEl* {Book 1}

Chapter 52: The Endless Cycle

Harry's POV:

After multiple fights over the same problems with Cami, I thought this time would hurt the least. Being that I was the one who ended things, I assumed I would be on the better end of this f.ucked up spectrum. But like most things in my life, I was wrong. I was wrong to think that I could somehow make Cami get over her parental issues. I was wrong to fall so fast and so hard with a girl who obviously didn't feel the same about me.

While I was thinking about moving forward and taking the next step, Cami wanted to stay exactly where we were and keep things the same. It was humiliating to have her say no to move in with me after I had sacrificed so much to be with her.

I practically gave up a relationship with my Mum just because she wasn't a fan of the woman that I was completely taken with. I jeopardized my work and my business to be the guy she needed me to be and what did I get for it? Rejected... I made every effort to be and do everything she needed. I supported every decision she made even if I didn't truly agree with it. I was willing to make a long distance relationship work if going to San Francisco was what she decided to do. I was pathetic enough to even look into houses and commercial space for a possible second location for Bandit. I would have done anything for that girl, but it became clear to me her feelings were not on the same level.

Not even two weeks without speaking to her, it scared me how much I missed her, how broken I felt. Just a month ago, I was envious at the fact that Caleb was the one starting a family and not me and Cami. It was unfathomable that two people who were in a relationship could have such vastly different ideas for their future. I had pictured forever with Cami and she was still living day to day, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In the end, I guess I knew she had never fully given herself to me. There were parts of her still blocked off and guarded by a brick wall. We both tried to move around them, but making it work when every time I tried to break them down she pulled away, had come to be too much.

I was ready for my life to begin, ready to settle down and have a family in a few years. Cami was just starting to settle with the idea of loving someone and have them love her back. In highsight, it wasn't her fault. I knew she didn't ask to be so jaded and guarded but I didn't ask to be the person on the short end of a one sided relationship.

I deserved someone to love me as much as I loved them, someone who wasn't going to run away every time I made a move to show how much I cared for them. Cami had  been the exact opposite from the moment I had taken a liking to her.

She'd slapped me the first night I had kissed her, had to be forced to go on a date with me and practically convinced to let herself admit feelings. I had been the one to always go back to her when she freaked out and assure her that we were good together. I was the one who asked to be exclusive and was the first one to say I love you. Our whole relationship felt like an endless cycle of something causing Cami to reconsider our relationship and me making excuses for her. It was like every few weeks something happened where we had moved a few steps back, always on the account of her paranoid delusions that I would hurt her.

I was careful with her, making perfectly calculated moves to ensure she was comfortable with our relationship status. Was moving in such a far leap? We'd barely spent nights apart and when we did we certainly made up for it. We were constantly hopping from my place, to hers, spending almost every minute of free time together. Moving in together seemed like such a great idea at the time. I was even so stupid and naive to have a damn art studio built for her so she would feel at home here. The only thing that resulted in was her completely freaked out expression. She looked about ready to bolt by the time I had given her the key. As I looked back on it, I nearly wanted to slap myself for smiling like such a twat when I'd asked her. I'd certainly compensated for that when I destroyed every item in that room. Now it looked like the beginnings of a rubbish yard, not that I had stepped inside it much. After I had let out my frustrations when Cami left that night, I'd slammed the door shut behind me and haven't so much as walked past it since. All it was, was a reminder of how pathetic I was.