Good Girls Bad Guys // Michael Clifford \\

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Bethany

I pulled the black cardigan around me, and took my seat in the front row. Taking deep breaths holding back tears, the casket at the front of the church. I fumbled with the piece of paper in my hands. I kept my eyes on the front, when my name was called to say something I grabbed the flowers from under my seat and walked to the casket, putting the flowers on Natalie.  

I walked to the stand, putting the paper down on the stand, so my hands didn't shake. I found Luke, Calum, Ashton and Michael in the crowd, and I kept eye contact with them.

"Natalie is my aunt. I never really met her before I had to go live with her, I think she was at my birth, but that would make her only a few years old herself." I smiled. "But ever since I went to live with her, I lived life to it's fullest. I made friends with people normal parents wouldn't approve of. Managed to keep friends I had known since I was born. She taught me to learn my lesson, I need to make my own mistakes. So when I went and got lost in Italy at the age of fourteen with Mark, who was another one of those children parents wouldn't approve of, I learnt my lesson, One get a phone that works out of my own country, two tell people where your going." I paused, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "At the age of fifteen, I did something every normal teenage girl does, I went through that party daily phase, never does the work in school phase, and goes through ten guys a month. With Natalie's guidance through that phase, I learnt I didn't need to flirt with everyone to get my way, I learnt that grades are good. She got me interested in guitar to help me with my newfound addiction. She supported me though when I slipped up once or twice. But then a few months after my sixteenth birthday, everything changed she wasn't herself, she was more tired, less enthusiastic. She became the typical teenage girl at the age of a young adult. She refused to leave the house. I left it, thinking maybe she was a late developer, and didn't have this when she was younger. I look at it now, and I realize that maybe when I had seen these, I could of maybe saved her to where she was still breathing today. But then when she told me the truth, she started deteriorating fast and she started becoming even more teenagey. She drank more, partied more, and slept more." I felt my voice crack. "But the point I was trying to get to earlier was, over the few years I lived with her she became my mum, and without her, I wouldn't of met the four boys who are in my life currently and hopefully more. I wouldn't have the confidence to be who I am. She was a great influence in my life. I just never got time to appreciate that enough, and now that shes gone..." That's when I lost it, tears rolled down my face. "I am only just realizing that her being gone, will always effect me in one way or another. I never had time to say goodbye when she was alive, and a thankyou. So this is it really. Thankyou for being there for me in the dark times, thankyou for helping me become me. You didn't deserve to be taken so soon." I stepped down, people giving me sympathetic looks.

I sat in my seat, wiping my tears away, although it didn't work.

We went the pub afterwards, and Joy had written me a note saying I could drink, so every time I went to the bar, I showed them that. I sat down in the corner of the pub, breaking down. The glass of wine sat on the table in front of me. 

Someone sat on the sofa beside me, and hugged me tightly. Rubbing my back.

"Heyy, you're strong okay?" He asked, Michael. "You're gonna get through this, I'm going to be here for you, as are Luke, Ashton and Calum." I couldn't reply, since I was choking on my own tears. He stood me up and pulled me to a quieter part of the pub, hugging me tightly. I rested my head on his shoulder and we swayed to the beat of the music behind us. I sobbed silently into his shoulder.

"I still can't seem to grasp the fact she's gone." I whimpered. He kept silent, resting his chin on the top of my head. 

"It's gonna be okay, alright? I promise you."