my kpop weight loss diary

october log + real talk

It's almost the end of October, and honestly, I feel a little disappointed in myself.
When I think back to the goals I made a few months (even years) ago, I really thought I would be in a different place by now. I wanted to lose weight, feel stronger, and have clearer skin. But the truth is, my weight hasn't changed at all this month and my skin is still giving me trouble.

Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to stay consistent. I tell myself I'll eat better or avoid snacks, but then I end up doing the opposite. In that moment, it feels like I can't control it, and later I regret it so much. It's like a cycle I keep repeating, and it makes me feel stuck.

My skin also makes things harder. It's been a problem since I was a teenager, and even now it still affects how I feel about myself. Some days I avoid looking in the mirror too long because I just don't want to see the breakouts or the texture. I know it's not the end of the world, but it still hurts my confidence.

Sometimes I feel like my body and skin are both working against me 🗿
And no matter what I try, nothing changes. It's a lonely and frustrating feeling, watching others improve while I feel stuck in the same place.

And now, as the year slowly comes to an end, I can't help but think about how fast time has gone 🥹
The closer we get to the new year, the more pressure I feel. I wanted to welcome January feeling lighter, happier, more confident. Instead, I feel behind, like I let myself down.

But deep down, I know this isn't the end. This isn't how my story has to finish. I still have time (not just until New Year's, but in general) to make things better. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't even have to be fast 😭