my kpop weight loss diary

ragebait

I know this chapter is going to sound negative, but I need to get it out.

I'm frustrated.

Not because I gained weight overnight.
Not because I completely gave up.

I'm frustrated because I feel like I've been putting in effort for months and I still don't feel comfortable in my own body.

The concert is getting closer.
And every time I look at the countdown, I get stressed.

Not because of the concert itself. I'm excited for that.
It's everything around it.

The outfit.
The pictures.
The videos.
The memories.

A few days ago, I went shopping to look for concert outfits.

HUGE mistake.

I don't know if clothing stores have become worse or if my expectations are too high, but almost nothing looked good. I tried different styles.

Different colors.
Different cuts.
Different sizes.

And somehow I still left annoyed.

I think the most frustrating part is knowing exactly how I want to look. I have the image in my head. I know the vibe I want. But when I put the clothes on, it just doesn't match the picture I imagined.

And maybe that's why shopping feels so exhausting.

Every fitting room becomes a reminder that I'm not where I wanted to be yet.

What makes it worse is that it's almost June.

It's literally TOMORROW 😭😭😭

I started this year at 56.2kg.
Now I'm around 53kg.

So technically, yes, I made progress.

But mentally it doesn't feel like enough.

I thought I would be much closer to my goal by now.
I thought I would have my concert outfit by now.
I thought I would feel more confident by now.

Instead, I'm standing in fitting rooms wondering where the last few months went.

The scary part is how fast time is moving.

I keep thinking I have plenty of time.
Then suddenly another week is gone.
Then another month. And now there are only a few weeks left.

Honestly, that's what stresses me the most: the time.

Anyways.

Maybe this is just one of those weeks where everything feels more difficult than it actually is.

Maybe I'll find an outfit next week.

Maybe I'll finally see more progress.

Or maybe I'll keep complaining until July 😭

We'll see. 🗿

fml ✨