She followed him into the bedroom and closed the door gently. Suga sat down on the bed, and looked away. He was deep in thought.
"What's your plan?" She murmured.
"To keep the Yakuza away from you." He whispered.
"That's it? How are you gonna pull that off? How are you gonna get back to us safe? How do you know that they'll trust you?" She asked forcefully.
"I don't." He shrugged.
"Then why are you doing this? To put me through hell?" She fought to keep her voice under control.
"I don't see any other way. I don't want to run anymore. I want to have some place that will always be there for me at the end of the day. I have you, but I want somewhere where we can just live. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of regretting. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of remembering. I'm tired of running. I'm just tired." Suga rubbed his face and sighed. He fell back onto the bed and spread his arms out as if in defeat. She shivered as a terrifying thought shot through her mind.
"Are you tired of me?" She mumbled, barely audible.
"I don't know. I don't think so." He whispered. His eyes were closed as if he was in pain. His uncertainty was like a knife to her gut. She was certain, why wasn't he?
He had realized it on his way home. Rapmon was right, he had bit off more than he could chew. This was a bad plan, but it was the best thing for all of them. If he was a part of the Yakuza, everyone would be safe. Maybe one day he could leave, but it was practically a suicide mission. It didn't matter though, as long as she could settle down. Put this all behind her, and if she had to, find somebody else. That's all he wanted. For her to be happy and have a good life, and if it wasn't with him then fine. It would hurt like hell but, it's for the best. If he stayed with the Yakuza long enough maybe they would forget the whole thing, and maybe he could leave peacefully. He could ask Tadashi about it. There had to be people that got out. He was just so tired. He wanted to sleep until all of this was over. He didn't want any of this to happen. This wasn't even his fault, it was nobody's fault really. What was the point of all this anyways? Right, to keep the ones he loved safe. Because he couldn't do that before, so he was gonna do it now. And he was going to do a damn good job. So this was the best thing he could do. The only thing he could do if they wanted a shot at putting it all behind them.
"I love you." She murmured suddenly, softly, almost hesitantly.
"I love you too." He mumbled. He probably shouldn't have said he didn't know if he was tired of her. He wasn't, he was just tired in general. He didn't know how to explain this type of tired. It was a mind numbing exhaustion that was wearing him down to a nub.
"I didn't mean what I said before." He opened his eyes and rubbed them weakly. She tentatively sat down beside him.
"I didn't either." She agreed.
"I was just mad you didn't see it how I saw it." He mumbled sheepishly looking over at her. She was staring at her hands. Well he had meant some of it, but only a tiny part. Something was going on with Rapmon. He was different now, harsher, more controlling, although nothing was under his control. And she was like her gramma, just a little bit. Because she wanted to fix things. He did too, but he didn't want them to go back to what they were. He just wanted the situation to be better.
"I still don't." She sighed, looked back at him.
"Yeah. I know." He sat up and looked at her. He stifled a snicker.
"Nice outfit." He smiled slightly.
"Oh. Yeah..." She trailed off embarrassed.
"I especially like these." He pulled at his froggy boxers, he was sure Rapmon told everyone about them already. He wasn't stupid.
"Me too." She giggled. He wrapped his arm around her little shoulders.
"Are we okay?" He asked. She nodded,
"Of course."
"Are you still gonna try and get me to stop this?" He asked.
"Of course." She nodded stubbornly. He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder.
"I thought so."
"Let's go to sleep." She yawned and pushed him down on the bed. He rolled into her and she cuddled into his chest. He hugged her protectively and kissed the top of her head.
He hoped they were okay.
------------------------
(A/N)
gnite guys. this is all 4 today! and probably for like a week or so. sry bebs. school is v time consuming :(
