She had better just get it over with. What to say...
"What's wrong?" He asked for the third time, more forcefully than before.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore." She mumbled.
"What?" He asked bewildered.
"I don't mean to lead you on, and I'm done. I'm done pretending I care for you the way you want me too. I don't know why I acted that way. Maybe because I was afraid I'd hurt you more with the truth, or because I wished I could feel that way I about you. I don't know. But I know that I love Suga, I don't love you. I'm sorry. I'm done leading you on and pretending I feel that way. I don't want to hurt you. I don't mean to, but I'm in love with Suga. I've hurt him more than I can imagine and I don't want to hurt anybody else, especially people that are close to me." She looked at him apologetically, what else could she do?
"I'm sorry." She murmured. He nodded slowly,
"I get it. I knew that you were in love with him, I just thought, that maybe..." He shook his head, "How stupid of me."
"It's my fault, I let you kiss me and I kissed you. I shouldn't have let it go on so far. I'm sorry." She apologized again.
"You shouldn't have. But, I shouldn't have told you how I felt. I just wanted to know that I didn't have a chance. And now I do. I never did have a chance against him did I?" He looked at her with hurt and anger etched on his face. She looked down at her lap and shook her head.
"That's what I thought." He stood and left. Just like that. She clenched her fists and choked back her tears. She did it. It was done. She wasn't hurting anyone else anymore.
Fucking Suga. He kicked a random wall. Suga was always the one. It used to be him and Jin against the world, then it Suga came along. Jin and Suga got closer and closer. Suga stole Jin away. Then it was everybody else. He let himself fly off the handle because he was in love with Nari when he couldn't be, and he let V die. He wasn't there for them like he had been, but Suga was. So Suga took them too. Finally, he managed to take something from Suga. He had felt awful about it, but he had also felt a little triumphant. But no. She was still in love with him. Stupid bitch. He kicked another wall. Of course he was still in love with her. She was beautiful, strong, smart. Suga. Suga. Suga! He wanted to scream in frustration. He knew he couldn't hate Suga. Suga was his brother, but he just wanted one thing. Just one. But he wasn't going to get a single thing. His heart exploded with anger and he clenched his fists tightly. He was so goddamn jealous of Suga. Suga had everything. He grumbled and stalked off towards the bus stop. Not knowing how very wrong he was.
She was happy she wasn't hurting Rapmon anymore, but Rapmon was the last person she had. She was alone now. That's okay, she thought. At least he could move on now. She had hated the fact that she was leading him on. She just wanted to endure her pain alone, in silence. She hoped things were going well for Suga and Jin at least. She stood and went into his parents' room. She suddenly remembered the pictures of his mother she had tucked away in her underwear drawer. She should get them out. She looked at the pictures she had left behind. His mother had been very beautiful. They did look very similar. Maybe that's how Suga noticed her. She remembered when he slammed her against those lockers and brushed his lips against hers for the first time. She smiled slightly, she had been so mad at him for that. She wondered why he did that. She sighed and grabbed her paintings from his room then left.
She entered the apartment slowly. Jimin was sitting on the couch and J-Hope was next to him. Rapmon was probably in his room and Jin was probably with Suga. Jungkook was just gone. She wondered if she should say something to them.
"Eunsuh told me what happened." Jimin called out to her.
"You've been seeing her?" She mumbled.
"It's no secret, not anymore anyways. I mean you've kissed Rapmon, what I'm doing can't be worse." He shrugged. She nodded, his words like knives in her stomach.
"Why'd you do it?" J-Hope asked.
"I don't know." She sighed.
"Why'd you go back?" Jimin asked.
"Because I had to." She shrugged.
"You're not being fucking helpful, you whore." J-Hope burst out angrily.
"Hate me all you want. What's done is done and we just need to get past it and move on. I don't know what else to say besides I'm sorry. I'm upset about it too. I'm a dumb bitch, or whatever you want to call me. I just want to go to sleep so please try to be quiet." She pleaded and opens the door to their room.
"Fuck you." Jimin called out. She nodded,
"Okay." And closed the door. She put the paintings down and took out the pictures. She put them on a chair and slipped into bed. She'd put them up later. She fell asleep worrying about J-Hope and Jimin.She wished dearly that they wouldn't hate her forever.
She already hated herself enough for the both of them.
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(A/N)
huh huh haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa n pump it loooouuuddaaaaa n pump it looouuuuddaaaa turn up the radio blast ya stereo riiiiigghhhhhttt noooooowwwww
