Suga didn't come back in the morning. No one was there. Everyone had left in a hurry. Everyone was upset. None of it was working out. It was all pointless. Suga was falling apart, and she just didn't know what to do.
"Why can't I do something!" She yelled at herself in frustration.
"Because you don't know how to do it." Rapmon yawned. She jumped at his sudden appearance.
"I guess not." She shrugged. They sat in silence for a while.
"I just want Suga back. There's no point to this if we lose him." She murmured.
"That's what we told him, there's nothing we can do now." Rapmon shrugged in defeat.
"But it's not his fault. It's no one's fault. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He just wants to fix something. I just wish I knew what." She sighed and put her head in her hands. Rapmon said nothing.
"Why are you so hard on Suga?" She asked.
"Whaddya mean?" He mumbled.
"Well for a long time now, you've been really short with him and so mean to him. It's not helping." Her voice began to raise in irritation. Rapmon tensed and looked away.
"What is it?" She asked with more force. Still he made no move to answer.
"I'm not in the mood Rapmon! You need to throw away your goddamned pride and try to help!" She yelled suddenly. He was just so infuriating.
"Because I hate myself." He murmured in a low voice.
"What does that have to do with anything?" She growled.
"Because I'm disgusted with myself. I'm disgusted with myself because I'm jealous of him. I want something he has, and I hate myself for wanting it. He's my best friend, I shouldn't feel this way." Rapmon sighed and rubbed his face.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, confused.
"YOU! I'm talking about you!" He yelled suddenly, loudly, and exasperatedly.
"Huh?" She breathed. Her? He wanted her? How could he want her? He was always so mean to her and he didn't trust her or something like that.
"Suga is my best friend, and you're his girlfriend. I shouldn't feel this way. I shouldn't want you. But I do. I try as hard as I can to hate you, but I can't find anything to hate. So I'm mad at him, because he has you and I don't. And that disgusts me that I can even think that. Suga deserves you more than anybody." Rapmon growled angrily.
"Rapmon. Are you...are you serious?" She stammered. He grabbed her face roughly and pressed his lips down on hers. She gasped in surprise and stared at him wide-eyed. But his eyes were closed, and now he was kissing her softly, gently. It wasn't like Suga's kisses. She liked those better. She wanted Suga to hold her like Rapmon was holding her. She wanted something like last night, even though he had done that impulsively. But Rapmon's lips did feel nice. His hands were soft. And he was comfortable. But she still couldn't help but compare him to Suga. But maybe Suga was gone. Maybe she should get used to not having him. So she closed her eyes.
She shouldn't be doing this. She was leading on Rapmon. She loved Suga. But she was just so upset. Her emotions blurred her thoughts and she couldn't think straight. Rapmon just felt so nice and strong and comforting. His lips were puffy and soft. But they didn't feel cool and silky like Suga's. His hands were smooth and homely. But Suga's were soft and thin. His kissed were nice and comforting. But Suga's mesmerized her, made her mind clear completely, just how she liked it. He slowly began to pull away. She didn't make any move to stop him. His cheeks were dusted with red and he looked down at his lap. She kissed his forehead gently.
"Rapmon...I love Suga." She whispered.
"I know." He sighed and stood. He trudged into his room and shut the door. She stared at the door for a long time.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
It was the only thing she could say. The only thing to say.
