She watched out of the corner of her eye as he passed her and walked towards the door. She turned away from the door, she couldn't watch. She hugged herself sadly and looked at the floor, tears streaming from her eyes. The door slammed closed. She let out a sob and tried to catch her breath. He was gone again. She cried to herself quietly. Suddenly, and as fast as a gun. Someone grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the wall. She gasped and looked up at who it was. It was him.
But he had left? No, he hadn't left. He had just closed the door. He slammed his hands on the wall next to her hands and he leaned into her. His lips brushed against hers and they exchanged breaths. This was like the time he pushed her against the lockers. When he first came into her life. She wondered if he might say 'just kidding' like he did then. No, that was too cruel. But she had taken everything from him, maybe he wanted to hurt her just as much as she hurt him. By crushing her fleeting hopes. Maybe it wasn't too cruel. He was silent for a long time. That was almost worst. The terrible, grueling, scraping apprehension of the whole hideous affair. Then his lips moved.
"I'm not kidding this time."
He pressed his lips to hers and she cried out in relief. She threw her arms around his neck and smiled broadly. He kissed her smile, but kept his hands on the wall. She chuckled against his lips and kissed him happily. He was back. He wasn't going to leave. He hadn't left yet. She cupped his face in her hands. Desperation to hold him over took her limbs and she jumped on him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and balanced herself on him. He leaned back and adjusted himself to carry her. Her smile soon faded, but she was still enormously happy. She just needed her mouth to kiss him. Her heart was bursting, maybe even healing. He didn't leave. He didn't go through that door. He stayed. He actually stayed.
He turned around and set her down on the bed. Their lips parted for a moment. But only for a moment. He climbed onto the bed on top on her and kissed her again. She slipped her hands up his shirt and along his muscles. Her fingers traced the dips in his abs and the soft skin of the waist. Her hands rested on his hip bone that protruded from his waist and the fleeting thought that he was too skinny passed her mind. But it disappeared as quickly as it had come. She slipped her hands out of his shirt and onto his arms. She traced the curves of his biceps and his protruding collar bone. He slowly lifted his lips off of hers. She searched his eyes. They reminded her of honey. She felt like she was sinking into warm pools of water. She gently placed her forefinger on his Cupid's bow and traced around his lips. When she finished he closed his eyes and kissed her finger. She sat up and he leaned back. He kept his eyes shut tightly. He seemed to be trying to block out something. He looked scared. Slowly, she slid onto his lap and wrapped her legs around his waist. His eyes were still shut tightly, and his fists were clenched.
"Will you do it again?" He whispered shakily. She grabbed his hands and forced them open. She held his hands and kissed his forehead. She kissed his eyes that were shut so tightly and she kissed his nose. She leaned in to kiss him, but just before she did, she stopped.
"Never." She whispered. He relaxed immediately and she kissed him. She loved the way his muscles felt on her skin. She loved the way his palms felt when she held them. She loved the way his face looked when she kissed him. She loved it all and she was never going to hurt him again.
Never.
