She hadn't slept at all. She had just lain still in the bed. She had tried to think. But she couldn't concentrate. The bed still smelled like him. She felt high of his scent, but she knew it was just painful nostalgia. She did realize one more thing though. She didn't love Suga. "Love" was a word too easily thrown around. "Like" wasn't strong enough. "Need" didn't explain it. "Infatuated" was too childish. "Devoted" didn't fit. There wasn't any word that could accurately describe the way she felt about him. She loved him too much to just be in love with him. She had a feeling much stronger than "like". She needed him, but that wasn't all of it. She wasn't infatuated anymore, she was way past that. She was devoted, but still that didn't even come close to describing how she felt. Even if she said she was devoted no one would believe her. She kissed Rapmon. She couldn't describe her feelings. Before she met him, she could describe her emotions. Perfectly. Then he came along and muddled everything up, but that was okay. Because she loved him. She cared for him. She needed him. She wanted him. She was devoted to him. Memories flooded her vision. Colorful, beautiful memories. She wished she could just live in her memories. They were so much better than right now. Couldn't she just live in the past? The present was so painful. And she knew, the future wasn't going to be much better.
He laid down beside her and yawned loudly.
"Jin?" She murmured.
"Yeah." He sighed and wrapped his arms around her. She burrowed into him and he kissed her forehead.
"How are things?" She asked.
"Good. Nothing new." He mumbled, his eyes drooping. He was so tired,
"How about you?"
"Good. I can get up by myself now." She giggled proudly. He smiled and kissed her gently. She moved her leg over his, slowly and shakily, but she did it. He grabbed her and rolled her on top of him. She gasped softly and sat on his abdomen. She rested her hands on his arms.
"You're so strong." She murmured in amazement.
"I have to be strong, so I can protect my princess." He smirked, sitting up to kiss her. She put a finger to his lips,
"No, not yet." She scolded.
"Misook!" He whined. She buried her face in his neck and kissed the delicate skin of his neck.
"Don't hurt your back princess." He murmured, trying to get her in a more comfortable position. She held him down by his arms with surprising strength. She drew patterns with her fingers on his biceps and he murmured contentedly. She winced slightly and he rolled her over so he was on top of her.
"Don't hurt your back princess." He repeated. She nodded sheepishly,
"Call me princess again." She pouted. He kissed her softly.
"I love you princess." He whispered breathily, "Now let me sleep." He chuckled, falling down beside her. She rolled over and rested her head on his collar.
"Okay." She mumbled, closing her eyes.
"I love you." She murmured, half asleep. He smiled,
"I love you too princess."
He woke up groggy and irritated. He got up reluctantly and went to go check on her. She wasn't there. His eyes widened and he whisked around.
"Nari!" He yelled. Nothing. The apartment was still empty. He grabbed his coat and slipped on some shoes. Where could she have gone? He ran down the steps and caught the first bus. He searched all over town. He searched all day and well into the night. Finally he gave up and went back to the apartment. He fell asleep quickly, and woke up early in the morning. Where else could she be? Did she go back? She went back, she must've. He jumped up and ran to the bus that would take him back. He nearly fell jumping off the bus. He ran to Suga's old house and banged on the door. The lock was broken but the door was shut tightly. He threw himself against the door and there was a large crash from inside. He managed to push the door open it's enough to get inside. He tripped over a shelf and tumbled to the ground. What the fuck. He winced as he stood and made his way up the stairs. She probably would've gone to his room. What had happened? Why did she leave? He opened the door gently and looked for her. She wasn't there. Suddenly someone jumped out at him. He flipped around and grabbed the assailant's arms.
"Nari!" He sighed in relief, "Nari it's me." He put her hands down at her sides.
"Oh. I thought you might be a robber or something. Because of all the noise." She gestured to the door and put a hand on her forehead.
"You put a shelf in front of the door." He reminded her.
"Oh yeah. Sorry, I just." She shrugged and went to go sit down on the bed. She looked small and sad and lonely. He smiled gently and sat down beside her, pulling her into his lap. She pushed away from him.
"No." She mumbled, looking away.
"What's wrong?" He asked taking her hand. She slipped her hand out of his and wiggled away from him.
"What's wrong?" He asked again. She shook her head and refused to look at him.
What the hell?
