He hopped on a bus and willed it to go faster. He didn't even attempt to sit down. He was done with their shit. Suga just needed to tell them what the fuck was going on. Nari needed to collect her feelings, she had done it before hadn't she? She needed to get it to-fucking-gether. Rapmon needed to forget his pride for 3 seconds to see the pain Suga was in. What had happened? Suga looked half dead. Not just tired. Like he had died inside. Everyone needed to get themselves together so Suga wouldn't fall apart. Because slowly and surely, what he was trying to save was disappearing into the wind. Jin probably wasn't helping by leaving to go see her, but it was the only way he could clear his mind. Everything had gone to shit anyway. It didn't matter anyways. He just wanted to see her and hold her. Then maybe he could think of something that would get them out of the toilet. Get her from interrupting every one of his thoughts. He knew Jimin was seeing Eunsuh. Jimin had asked him about seeing Misook, and Eunsuh was the only one who saw him. J-Hope disappeared every day right around happy hour and wasn't home until late. Jungkook was just gone. He just needed one night. Just one.
He ran into the hospital. He remembered her room number by heart. Luckily there was no nurse on duty. He jogged into her room and found her sleeping. He closed the door behind him and locked it. He wasn't supposed to be here. She was facing away from the door again, and now she had an IV. She had gotten paler and her eyes had dark shadows. He pulled up a chair quietly and sat beside her. He didn't want to disturb her. She needed the sleep. He slowly took her hand and held it boldly. He didn't care anymore. She murmured and her eyes fluttered open groggily. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand.
"J-jin?" She stammered, sitting up. He nodded and squeezed her hand again. She reached out a hand and touched his cheek. Her eyes were wide and her pupils were dilating furiously. She was trembling and her mouth was open slightly. Her breaths were short and shallow. She cupped his cheek in her hand and he nuzzled against it. She retracted her hand in a flash and clamped it over her mouth. She sobbed into it and tears streamed over her fingers. He stood slowly and carefully moved her hand from her mouth.
"Am I dreaming?" She murmured. He hesitated. He could keep her safe. He could let her heal. Or he could be selfish and keep her for himself.
"No."
He kissed her gently and she smiled in relief.
"I knew you'd come back. I knew you wouldn't leave me." She cried. He nodded and leaned his forehead against hers.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I should let you move on. I should let you forget me. I should let you be happy and safe. You shouldn't wait for me, you shouldn't have to. I should be by your side all the time. I shouldn't have to leave ever." His thoughts tumbled through his mouth,
"You shouldn't love someone that puts you in danger. That kills people because they can't control themselves. I'm sorry I left. I shouldn't have left if I couldn't stay away from you. I'm sorry you have to cry. And I'm sorry you can't tell dreams from reality. And I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry you have to take so much medication. And I-" she kissed him quickly, cutting him off.
"You were really there the other night weren't you?" She murmured.
"Yeah." He breathed.
"I'm patient. I can wait. I love you. You're the last thing I have." She whispered, her voice trembling. He nodded,
"Okay."
"Don't leave me again." She warned.
"I won't. I promise I won't." He promised. She smiled,
"Good."
"I love you." He whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
"I love you too." She agreed. He picked her up slowly. She was as light as a feather and he did it easily. He moved her aside and slipped into the bed alongside her.
"I'm sorry I made things so difficult for you before you left. I was just angry." She yawned, closing her eyes, resting her head against his chest.
"Don't be sorry." He pulled her body close and pulling the white covers over them.
"Then stop apologizing to me." She murmured, falling asleep.
"It's a deal." He chuckled. He missed her so much. Nothing else seemed to matter. He was done playing babysitter for the rest of them. She was here in his arms and that's all that mattered.
He had her back.
