He sat down in a chair tired and watched her do her exercises. He was tired. He mostly worked every night. Suga made him. Even if it was just hanging out with the rest of the Yakuza at clubs. Suga said everything counted. He bit off more than he could chew, but he couldn't back out now. Every spare moment he had he was with her. He mostly ate hospital food and slept when he could.
"You look pale." She murmured.
"I'm just tired." He waved away her concerns.
"You say that every time." She stopped and looked at him pleadingly.
"Because I am." He shrugged he didn't know what else to say.
"Why'd you do this?" She slowly turned away from him.
"Because I have to." He sighed. He was tired of having this conversation.
"Why?" She asked again.
"To keep you safe. To try and have a chance at a normal life. So you and I can live in peace." He explained for the hundredth time. She began to shake on her crutches.
"What?" He asked annoyed.
"I hate this! I can't even ignore you or be mad at you properly! I have to ask for help. I hate it! I hate not seeing you, I hate not knowing if you're gonna come visit. I hate not being able to argue with you about it. I hate being so helpless!" She wobbled wildly on her crutches. He jumped up and took a step towards her.
"No! I want to do this myself! If I can't then just let me fall!" She yelled at him, leaning greatly to one side. She cried out in pain and began to fall. He couldn't help it. He ran out and caught her before she hit the ground.
"I said to let me fall!" She screamed in frustration.
"I can't do that." He murmured softly. She pushed him roughly and tried to push herself away from him. She screeched in pain and began to cry.
"It hurts! Jin it hurts!" She sobbed. He grabbed her and pulled her into his lap, trying to straighten out her back. He kissed her forehead gently and cradled her in his arms.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I twisted my back." She whimpered. He picked her up gently, trying not to hurt her, but she still cried out. He put her in the bed quickly and called the nurse. He wiped the tears away from her face and she refused to look at him.
"What's wrong?" The nurse asked gently.
"She twisted her back." He explained. The nurse nodded,
"That's been happening a lot. How bad this time?" The nurse asked her.
"It's not that bad." She tried to wave the nurse away.
"I'll get you some pain medicine." The nurse smiled and beckoned him over.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"The doctor recommends that she get a back brace to avoid situations like these. She says she doesn't need one. She'll listen to you. She won't improve if she keeps hurting her back. If you could..." The nurse trailed off hopefully. He nodded,
"I know. I'll do it."
"You have to get the brace." He murmured. She ignored him furiously.
"You'll get better faster, just get the brace." He sighed and sat down.
"I'm too tired for your bull shit." He grunted and closed his eyes. Almost falling asleep right away.
"I don't need a brace! I need you to let me make my own decisions." She grumbled.
"Well you're making stupid decisions. You see my predicament." He mocked her.
"Leave me alone." She yelled. He shook his head and waited for her to cool off. He had nearly fallen asleep when she spoke again.
"Why don't you think I can do it by myself?"
"Because you can't climb a mountain without legs." He murmured.
"Who said you're my legs?" She sneered.
"The doctors did." He sighed, not opening his eyes.
"Fuck you." She whispered.
"Look. I'm done watching you get hurt. So I'm gonna do what I have to keep you unharmed, and you're gonna do the same thing whether you like it or not! So just shut up and deal with it! Stop being a baby!" His patience snapped.
"It's so frustrating! I can't do anything for myself anymore. I just want to do something by myself. I spend everyday just trying to walk to the door, and almost every time I fall. Almost every time you need to catch me. But I'm scared too. What if one day, you're not there to catch me. What if I can't do it myself, and you can't protect me. Now that day seems so much more real. I don't know when you will visit. I don't know when I'll see you, and every time I do you look worse worse than the last time I saw you. I'm scared and I hate myself for being so scared. I just want to do something by myself! Something!" She sobbed and attempted to curl up into a ball, but her movements were slow and it hurt too much.
"I can't even comfort myself!" She screamed in frustration. He stood and sat down on the bed. He carefully sat her up and leaned her against him. She sobbed into his neck and he wrapped his arm around her frail shoulders.
"You don't have to. I'm here." He murmured, kissing the top of her head.
"I'll always be here for you." He promised. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it so tightly it almost hurt.
"It's not a dream right?" She whispered.
"No. Not anymore." He promised. She cried herself to sleep and he tried to hold her, as best he could. But he got tired too and fell asleep even before she did. Wait, wasn't he supposed to meet Suga?
Oh well.
