He grabbed Jin's shoulder and flung him back. He fired three rounds, dispatching the enemy. Jin panted heavily, on the ground.
"You can't freeze like that. They'll know you don't have their back and they'll know you don't have what it takes." He reprimanded Jin harshly.
"Sorry. Who says I don't have what it takes?" Jin asked angrily.
"That does." Suga held out his hand. Jin took it and Suga pulled him up. Jin nodded and they walked back.
"Why haven't we gone out with anybody else yet?" Jin asked.
"Tadashi's worried you won't be accepted. He wants to ease you in as my partner. It's the best we can do considering." He shrugged. Jin nodded. He checked his watch,
"We finished early. You should go see her." He advised.
"What about you?" Jin looked at him worriedly.
"I'll be fine. Just try to come to our place so I don't have to come looking for you." He mumbled, walking away.
"Okay. See you later." Jin waved. He waved back and caught a bus to Tadashi's. He remembered the night before. He had snuck into the apartment, looking for Jin. He could hear her softly crying through the door. He had wanted to cradle her in his arms, but. He was still hurt and angry. So he left the necklace. It had been his father's. He just couldn't look at it anymore. He didn't have the strength.
Tadashi wasn't home yet, so he went straight to his room. He sprawled out on the bed and sighed in relief. Things were going well. He was getting closer to Daichi. Tadashi was helping him in the small ways he could. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and tried not to think about her. Jin said he couldn't do this alone, but he preferred to be alone. With Tadashi, he could take down the entire Yakuza, but now he had to wean Jin. But he did like having Jin by his side. Someone he could truly trust. He usually didn't fight with Tadashi, it just wasn't how things were done. So it was nice to have someone there. He still preferred doing things alone. Even when he had met Rapmon, he mostly did things by himself. Only Jin and Jimin really invited him in. Rapmon just wanted to make sure he was safe and unharmed. Well, he had wanted. Now. Now things were different.
He felt anger fester inside him. He trusted Rapmon with his life. Rapmon was his best friend. Rapmon had practically raised him. Rapmon was his family. Suga thought he felt the same way, but apparently he didn't. He just took the one thing that meant most to Suga. He couldn't help but feel mad at Nari too. He had given her everything. He trusted her with more that his life. She held it in her hand, and she just crushed it. She held his heart in her mouth and she just chewed it up and spit it out. He thought she hated cheaters. He thought. He thought. He thought. Maybe he shouldn't have trusted her. She had chosen others over him before, it probably wasn't hard for her to do again. Why would they do that? Was Rapmon just trying to get back at him for taking control while he was losing his? But why Nari? Was it because he neglected her? But he always came back. She knew that. He just needed some time. Maybe he should have said something, but how could he when he was driving himself insane with guilt? He killed his father. With his own hands he scraped everything that was inside him and threw it on the floor until there was nothing left. Nothing at all.
He wanted her back. But he couldn't forgive her. He couldn't look at her. His heart had already been as fragile as stained glass, and she just drove her fist through it. He hoped he cut her, at least a little. He wasn't even as mad as he should be. He just wanted to hold her. Feel his lips on hers. Feel her skin under his fingers. Her eyes on his. But how could he trust her? He couldn't trust Rapmon, that couldn't be changed. Nari maybe, but how could he? She gave him the gun and watched him kill himself. He gripped the sheets of the bed and curled into himself. He was alone now. Yeah he had Jin and Tadashi, but not the way he needed them. He needed Nari. But he couldn't have her. He sighed deeply. He didn't have a heart left anyway.
Why did it matter?
