Hope (Harry Styles)

20.

Lost Without You- Blink 182
Lost Stars- Adam Levine

Harry's POV

I don't know why I let the guys drag me out tonight. It was just another stupid birthday. And they knew how I felt about drinking, yet here I was, throwing back my fifth shot of tequila. I think I finally succumbed to their incessant nagging when Danielle promised to be our designated driver for the night. I was not going to have a repeat of last year. 

I could already feel the poison moving through my veins like fire, spreading to my limbs, making them heavy and my mind clouded and slow.  I now understood why they called it liquid courage, I don't think I ever would have agreed to dance with the random blonde who approached me if I was sober.

For months now I haven't been able to get a certain brown haired, brown eyed beauty out of my mind. Everything reminded me of her; her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes would crinkle in the corner when she laughed,  the way she sang, everything.  It was like every memory we had was on replay, going nonstop in my mind, driving me absolutely mad. I've been trying so hard not to think about Abby, to think about that night we said our final goodbye. It killed me knowing that we would never speak again, that I would never see her beautiful, smiling face anymore.  I knew she was right, damn it, she was.  We were both getting so busy and so caught up on school and with work that we weren't able to find time to even text any more, let alone FaceTime.  Hell, I hardly slept because I was so busy.

But tonight I was going to put that all behind me, I was going to go out on that dance floor with the blonde girl who has ahold of my hand, Mandy? Melany? Something with an M. I was going to dance and have a good time and just put everything in the past.  I was going to let the pulse from the music, the flashing lights and the smell of smoke and sweat take over my senses, making the ache in my chest less noticeable. 

I started moving to the beat of the music, grinding my hips against the girl who was pressed up against me. I grab her waist and spin her around so her back is pressed to my front, grabbing her hand to wrap around my neck where she starts tugging at my messy hair.  Something Abby did.

Stop. 

There's no thinking of Abby, not tonight. 

I missed a step and fumbled a second before getting back into our rhythm, the blonde to drunk to realize what had happened. There were bodies everywhere, all grinding up against each other, some even making out like they weren't in a crowded house full of watching eyes.  Danielle and Liam were also dancing, Liam giving me the thumbs up and I just smirk. What did he he expect me to do? Last I knew, Louis and Niall were playing beer pong as Eleanor cheered them on. I almost wanted to leave earlier, after a song came on that I listened to with Abby....

FÛCK!

I need to stop thinking about her, this is ridiculous. It's been three months since we last spoke, I was doing fine up until now, up until I decided I was going to drink way more that I should for someone who hasn't had this much to drink in a long time. I was such an idiot, falling for someone when I knew it wasn't going to go any further than a few texts and a few minutes a facetiming. What we had though was absolutely amazing and I couldn't just give that up. Drinking tonight only made my feelings resurface and ten times worse. 

I needed a distraction. I look down at the blonde dancing next to me. She's cute, blues eyes, full lips. I turn her around again, pressing my lips to her the second she is facing me. She doesn't hesitate to tangle her hands into my hair, her body still moving against mine. I lower my hands to her bottom, squeezing tightly, I feel her moan against my lips.

She pulls back slightly, "do you want to get out of here?" She asks, her big blue eyes looking up at me. I have a feeling I was going to regret this, knowing I am not the type of guy to just sleep with random girls but I think this is what I need, to finally get over Abby.