Hope (Harry Styles)

27.

Girl Almighty- One Direction

~~~~~~

It's been five days since my going away party. Five days since I tried calling Harry, only to find out he must have changed his number. Most likely because of me. I don't remember how long I stayed out on that terrace for, I just remember wallowing in self pity, hating myself for not calling him sooner. I wish things would have happened differently. That I would have found out about this job months and months ago, maybe then Harry's phone would have worked and we could have talked and worked things out. I'm such an idiot. After I sat out there for awhile I went back inside, cleaned up in the bathroom, not wanting anyone to see how I was crying, and went back to spending the rest of the night with friends and family.

I didn't tell anyone about my attempt to call Harry, knowing it wouldn't change anything. I know now that it was really time for me to move on. Harry did, and now so should I. So, I'm going to start fresh. New country, new me. I'm going to move on for real this time, and put thoughts of Harry out of my mind. I even went and deleted his contact info from my phone, since it didn't work and I wasn't going to be needing it anymore, along with the pictures of the two of us from when we were camping. I'm sure he's done the same. I wasn't going to mope around and wonder why things are the way they are. I know why. It's because I've been a fool and didn't follow my heart and act quick enough. But that doesn't matter anymore.

It's the day before I leave for London and I'm not going to spend it worrying about things I can't change. I'm going to spend it pigging out on pizza and making sure all my stuff is packed for when the UPS guy gets here to ship it to my new place in London. I didn't really have a lot, just a couple boxes of clothes and shoes, some books, some pictures and stuff I wanted to keep as memorabilia. I was planning on buying all new furniture and everything else I needed for my apartment once I got down there instead of trying to ship everything. And it would give me the fresh start I was hoping for.

Hope, from the Guardian Weekly called me a couple weeks ago and said that they sent my work visa in the mail, which I got the other day, and that they have a place ready for me when I arrive. It was just a one bedroom, efficiency apartment, perfect for me until I find a place of my own, especially since it was rent free. The Guardian is amazing, not only have they payed moving costs, including a plane ticket for me, they are paying for this apartment, giving me a start up bonus that will help me get a place of my own. I even have a week before I have to start work, giving me plenty of time to find an apartment and site see. I was beyond excited. And a little nervous. I will see if Danielle and Eleanor will help show me around.

So here it is, Friday evening and I'm stuffing my face with pizza, listening to Megan and Violet argue about who's hotter- Chase Crawford or Ian Somerhalder. I don't even know how they could even choose between them, they were both beyond hot.

"Who do you think is hotter, Abby?" Violet asks, steeling another slice from the box. I can tell her and Megan were trying to act normal, that we all weren't going to be saying goodbye to tomorrow. They were keeping the conversation light and I was thankful for that. I spent enough time crying the night of my going away party. I had stopped drinking after calling Harry, sobering up real quick. I also got really emotional and was crying whenever someone said good by to me. Especially my mother and sisters. Even a few days this past week, I caught myself crying, thinking about all the memories I will be leaving behind.

"That's a tough one. I don't think you can choose to be honest," I say, taking a bite of pizza.

"See, those two choices aren't exactly fair. There's no way you could ever choose between the two, it's impossible," Megan huffs causing Violet and I to laugh.