"Recovery..."

Chapter 19 - "Step Back and Stepping Up..."

Chapter 19 - "Step Back and Stepping Up..."

'What the hell are you doing?' Martha scolded.

'Scrubbing up. I'm the consultant on this ward and you and I bother know that I deal the best with bleeds... This I'm going to be scrubbing in this op'

'No way. Not a chance. Your too emotionally invested in this whole situation' Martha pointed out.

'Hoe can I be invested in a kid I haven't seen in three months? She needs me to do this end of story' John said pretty much kidding himself.

There was no way he was going to be able to do this.

But he had to try. It was his Daughter at stake. So he tried to tell himself that she was just an ordinary girl who he doesn't know.

Unfortunately steely it wasn't working out quite as planned.

John picked up the scalpel and made the small incision that he needed to make, and with shaky hands began searching for where this bleed could be.

'John. You need to let me take over' Martha said because she could see he was loosing his patience very quickly bit being able to do this.

He had to be verging on 36 hours without sleep which was probably why his vision was blurred, and he felt his hand move snagging something that made Adie's sats drop instantly,

'Right suction' Martha yelled snatching the scalpel from John's hand. 'Out now. I'm taking over. Can we page the on call surgeon?' Martha shouted.

John stepped reluctantly back from the table but there was no way he was leaving the room until he k ew she was okay.

'John, leave, now' Martha snapped at him as he pulled the rubber gloves from his hands and scrubs from his chest, slamming the doors against the wall and towards his office.

He felt completely useless having freaked out once again at in theatre not managing to do what he needed to do.

He slammed the office door shut, flicking the blinds down, and flopping into his chair.

He slammed his head on the desk several times with force shocked that he wasn't causing himself brain damage.

- - -

'John' Martha breathed, looking at John in awe as she stepped in the office.

'She's okay right? God please tell me she's okay' John begged.

'She's just fine. Bit bruised and battered but otherwise she is okay. You and I both know she'll just need some bed rest' Martha nodded making John feel a sense of relief for the first time today.

'Thank you Martha. Thank you so much' John breathed, as his pager beeped again for the sixth time this half an hour. 'In just going to check this and then I'll go to her' John nodded.

'Clock off John. You have earned the right to clock off'

'I will. But this is Clara' he said showing her the pager and headed towards Clara's room, where she was vomiting, throwing her head over a brown paper bowl. 'What's happening?'

'She's vomiting. Second time this half an hour' Rory said, looking at John who looked half way to death.

He did not look like he should be working.

'Right. Run another blood test and umm. Run another CT scan' John muttered. He couldn't concentrate at this point he was just so exhausted.

Physically and mentally drained, as he motioned Rory over.

'Umm. I have a cat. Could you go and feed my cat?' John asked.

'Shit how tired are you?'

'Tired enough to know that I won't be going home tonight but that my cat needs feeding' John pointed out with a yawn.

'I'll get Amy to go now' Rory agreed as John shuffled towards the room where his daughter was laid up, covered in wires and tubes and blood being forced into her body, and god knows how many stitches over her face.

'How long will she be in here?' Rosie asked as John walked in and collapsed on the chair next to the bed.

He was literally dead on his feet. It wasn't healthy to be living like this.

'Few days. I don't hold much hope of her being out for Christmas' John scoffed.

But in a way he saw that as a good thing because that meant he could visit her on Christmas Day and get to do what a normal Dad would do, even if he was working, and suddenly Christmas Day didn't seem like it would be that bad.

'Well Steve and I will go home then and bring some of her stuff up' she said but John was just glad that Steve was keeping a distance right now.

'That would be wise' John agreed, as she went to leave but John halted her. 'And being enough for her to stay away for a while' John said making her spin around.

'What are you saying?'

'She doesn't want to come home with you Rosie. And you know why. It's Adie or the step dragon' John said giving her an ultimatum.

'You? She can't come and live with you. Your life isn't equipped for a 4 year old. You work crazy around the clock shifts. The fact that you haven't been home in 24 hours says it all' she scoffed.

'How did she break her collar bone?' John demanded.

'She's a child. She just fell over' Rosie shrugged as if that was an easy thing to answer.

'You don't break your collar bone by falling over' John scoffed. 'Take your money and go. Just make sure you bring her back enough clothes for a month. I'll sort the rest out'

'She's not coming with you John'

'You know she wants to - and believe me - if you don't let her come with me, then I'll be talking to social services. When she's discharged she's coming with me and we'll say no more about her incredibly thick file'

'Are you threatening me?'

'Let's put it this way. That file is more than thick enough for me to put a case against. So tread carefully with me' John said. 'I'll let you tell her. I'm not that harsh. Now I'm going to the on call room to sleep - if it's even possible - the next time I clap eyes on you I want a bag of clothes packed and handed to me' he snapped making a decision and shockingly stepping up the the plate.