It's not just complicated, it's a disaster

Disaster (Chapter Forty Eight)

Chapter Forty Eight

I stood outside Tom’s hospital room, not able to bring myself go in there yet. I’d seen him through the glass and he was barely visible under the chords and blankets. It was painful.

“Alex.”

I turned to see Zeke running down the hospital hallway, straight past Harriet who looked confused and to me. His arms grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the ground and hugged me. He held me tight, sometimes just kissing me on my cheek as I cried only a little.

Eventually he put me down and held onto his arms and stood there for a moment. Already, just him being there made me breathe a little easier.

“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, brushing his hand on my cheek.

“They’re watching,” I muttered.

He took his hand away and looked behind him and sighed before looking back at me. “I forgot.”

I paused and sighed, letting my hand touch his chest. I had sorted myself out with Tara, which was my main priority, and well Zeke had gotten over the Blake thing, Harriet could deal with this now knowing it wouldn’t be ‘hate sex’ and all that was left was my family. Emily and my Dad was something I couldn’t sort out, and only affected me sightly, but my sister and Pommy.... I couldn’t go through alone, could I? No, I knew the answer to that ages ago; it’s why I asked Harriet to call him, I knew the answer.

“I don’t care,” I shook my head.

“Alex,” Zeke said slowly.

“No, no,” I interrupted him. “I told you I wanted to get my life in order, and maybe that was easier than I originally thought, but I’ve done all I can, and the next part I need you for, and I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish about this.”

“You’re not being selfish; you’re just trying everything because you’re desperate for this to work,” he said, “like I am.”

“Of course I’m desperate, I love you,” I whispered.

Zeke smiled at me and moved my hair away from my eyes and moved his head closer to mine. He took a minute before his lips finally met mine. It was slow and in that instant I felt everything I knew I should feel, everything I wanted to feel.

I broke away and only peered over his shoulder to see Harriet staring, but no expression on her face.

“I need to go in and see Tom... for Claire,” I added. “But I can’t go in there alone.”

Zeke looked down and took my hand. “Well I won’t let you go in there alone then.”

I smiled, but then breathed and nodded.

Zeke had hold of one of my hands as we both walked into the room and shut the door behind us. My grip tightened on as my eyes lay upon Pommy. He was stretched out on the hospital bed, the white of it all kind of glowing on him. There were machines all around him, one beeping to the beat of his heart. He even had the needle in his arm which lead to a little clear bag. It was horrible to see him like this, no movement, no life, being so... helpless. It made me want to cry... so it was no shock when I felt a tear roll down my eye. I wiped them away quickly and reminded myself to breathe.

“This is horrible,” Zeke whispered.

“I know,” I nodded.

I took one more breath before I let go of Zeke’s hand and walked over to Pommy’s bed. I gripped onto the railing beside his bed as I felt like it would support me, like if I didn’t have something to hold onto I might sink to the ground.

“Right...I...I’ve heard that people can hear you when you’re in comma’s, so I’m kind of hoping you can hear me, otherwise I’m just making a fool of myself in front of the love of my life,” I said, only looking at Pommy’s face. “I know you hate me calling you Pommy, well you pretend to hate it anyway, but I think the reason I love calling you that is because no one else does. You always say I’ve been your sister, but having something small and petty like that... I don’t know, I can just believe you really are my brother. But you’re also Claire’s husband, my sister’s husband and she loves you so much. I know she does because not only can I see it in her eyes, but I hear it in her voice, see it on her face, you are her life and that is the exact reason you have to fright right now, Tom. You aren’t going to let Claire, Harriet or me down. You’re going to pull through this, wake up and go back to your wise joke-cracking self and I won’t cry so much. I will even let you make fun of Zeke and me if that helps... just please.... please.”

Zeke’s hands smoothed over my shoulder and I felt his breath near my ear.

“I think that’s enough, Alex,” he said.

“I just want him to wake up,” I whispered.

“I know, and I reckon he heard you, but you just need to give him time, okay?” Zeke told me.

Eventually I nodded agreeing, and Zeke steered me out of there, and all that was left was the hope that my words could actually bring on a miracle.