It's not just complicated, it's a disaster

Disaster (Chapter Thirty One)

Chapter Thirty One

Harriet decided to distract me from what had previously happened tonight. She made dance along with her to the music, which was extremely loud, but I’m not going to lie, I eventually found myself having fun. I think the only reason I could have fun was because I got distracted from what I originally couldn’t stop thinking about what I usually couldn’t stop thinking about.

When it got closer to midnight, I could tell Harriet wanted to go off with Kane, and I didn’t want to ruin her night so I let her go. I decided I’d see the fireworks, but to do so I’d have to go out on the balcony. Last time I was out there was the first time me and Zeke actually... well, kissed. Just standing outside the window near the balcony, I could see it, but I wasn’t going to let it affect me.

I took a deep breath and walked outside towards the edge of the balcony. I gripped onto the railing and tightened my hand all the way around the rail. I looked out at the sky and then glanced around for a clock. Eleven fifty-eight, okay, so two minutes left until we all enter the New Year. Would next year be any different for me? I doubt it. I get through my exams; I go to England... nothing to it... I hope.

People started to come out on the balcony as the two minutes started to disappear from this year.

“Alex.”

I spun around to see Zeke, and I felt my throat clam up slightly.

“I don’t want to win,” he told me.

The next thing I know, Zeke has used one of his hands to put it around my neck and put his lips to mine. At first I was shocked, I wasn’t ready for it, but within seconds I found myself kissing him back.

My hands held onto his chest, near his neck almost pulling his shirt. His free hand went around my waist and pulled me closer. I heard banging in the background, and it occurred to me that it was the fireworks in the background. I always remember thinking that whenever I kissed Zeke I would never be able hear fireworks cracking around me... and I almost couldn’t.

I pulled away from Zeke with a gasp, shocked at both my response and my actions. I could see Zeke smiling and every part of me just wanted to kiss him again, but instead I just shook m head and turned away from him to hide the tears forming in my eyes. I heard Zeke walk away but I didn’t say anything to stop him. Instead I felt myself start to cry. Great, we’re only seconds into the New Year and the first thing I do is cry. That’s it... I can’t do it anymore.

I need to find Blake... now. He’s the only one I can talk to... the only one who understands. I pushed through all the people searching for him through the crowd.

“Alex, is everything okay?” Harriet said, suddenly running up to me.

I don’t have time for this. “Ask Zeke,” I told her, walking around her.

I left her there standing confused, but I was positive she’d go ask Zeke, and he’d tell her what had happen.

“Jet,” I said, running towards him at the sight of him. “Do you know where Blake is?”

“Yeah,” he said, slightly confused. “He’s over there.”

“Thank you,” I smiled.

I ran off into the direction in which Jet had pointed which was the corner of the balcony.

“Blake,” I said, reaching him. “We need to talk.”

“Now?” he asked, with his arm wrapped around Tara.

“Yes, now. It can’t wait,” I told him.

He shrugged and let go of Tara and followed me inside. I led him to the kitchen and locked the door behind me.

I sighed and walked over to the counter and sat on top of it. Blake watched me for a second and then I broke down into tears.

“Wow, Alex, what’s wrong?” Blake asked, walking up to me.

“I have to tell him,” I breathed.

“Tell who what?” Blake asked confused.

“Zeke... Blake, I have to tell him,” I sobbed.

Blake looked at me confused for a moment, but then he understood. I didn’t need to tell him what I had to tell Zeke, he knew.

“Alex, we agreed never, ever, ever....ever,” Blake added.

“I know, I know,” I muttered, wiping some tears away. “But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t lie to him... I still... I still...”

“Like him,” Blake finished. “Alex, when I agreed to the never, ever, ever rule, you promised that it wasn’t the reason you broke up with Zeke... did you lie to me?”

I breathed for a second and when I nodded started to cry harder.

Blake groaned. “If you told me that, I never would’ve agreed, this wouldn’t be happening!”

“I know,” I whispered. “I just couldn’t.... and now... I need him... I want him.... I have to tell him, but I won’t do it unless you think I should.”

Blake sighed and ruffled his hair. “I don’t know, Alex, I just think it’ll make him mad.”

“Isn’t that a risk I have to take?” I asked.

“I guess... if you want to... I won’t stop you,” he told me.

I just nodded.

Zeke’s P.O.V

“Zeke, what the hell did you do to Alex?”

I spun around to see Harriet looking pretty mad, but I just smiled. She didn’t like that much and hit me.

“Ow, “I complained.

“What the hell did you do?” she asked again.

“I kissed her,” I said quickly.

“You... kissed her?” Harriet asked confused.

“Yeah... and she didn’t mind that much... she kissed me back,” I shrugged.

“You kissed her?” Kane asked confused from behind Harriet.

“Yeah... I just went for it,” I explained.

Harriet looked at me for a second and then hit me again.

“Okay, ow, what the hell was that for?” I asked her.

“You can’t just kiss her! You have no idea what she’s going through!” Harriet yelled at me.

“Babe,” Kane whispered, taking hold of her waist.

“No... no, Zeke, you can’t just do that,” she said.

“I’m sorry...I... just thought-,” I tried to say.

“I don’t care what you just thought... you can’t do that,” Harriet shook her head.

“So it didn’t matter that she kissed me back?” I asked her.

“Well, that’s... strange,” Harriet noted. “I would’ve thought she would slap you.”

“That’s exactly what I thought, and I even gave her the chance to slap me, but she just looked...confused,” I shrugged.

“She wanted to kiss you,” Harriet whispered.

“Well she did kiss me,” I shrugged.

Harriet gave me a look and I sighed. I was right. She kissed me. It wasn’t all me, and then she didn’t say anything, which was... disappointing. I thought I had her there.... that would be perfect.