Colors

~Chapter 23~

Ryan's POV

He didn't feel regret, but relief. He loved her. He never thought he'd ever have a chance to be intimate with Halsey. Back in senior year, it always seemed like they were going to do it, but it never happened. Now it has. But, at a terrible time. He still didn't regret it. He won't tell Z about this. Definitely not Rose. 

Halsey was snuggled up next to him. They were both naked and happy. She was asleep, but she was smiling. Ryan was smiling while staring at the ceiling. He wished he could just spend the whole day with her now. More like, he wished he could spend the rest of his life with her. Yeah, that's what he wants. He only wants a future with her. Little did he know, he really was wrapped around her finger.

Halsey's POV

When Halsey woke up, Ryan wasn't in bed anymore. His clothes were still all over the floor, so he has to still be here. She heard him talking in the distance. Must be someone on the phone. She slowly crept to the living room where she saw him sitting on the couch. He was only in his boxers. 

" Yeah, I will, Rose. Don't worry. I'll be there, baby. Yes. Yes! Okay, I love you more than anyone and anything. Bye," he said. He was smiling. 

Halsey felt so much anger and sadness in that moment. They shared an intimate moment and he was still in love with another woman. He never said that he loved her back. She let more tears escape her eyes. She walked back to the bedroom to grab the rest of his clothes. But she first slipped on a shirt and some underwear. She grabbed all of his clothes and brought them to him. She didn't want to look mad or sad.

" Well, here's your clothes. I think you should get going now," Halsey said. She casually handed him all of his clothing. " I'm sorry about earlier, forget about it. I know you don't feel the same anymore and that you're with Rose. I'm really sorry."

" Halsey, stop. What's wrong? I don't have to be anywhere," Ryan said, putting his clothes down.

" I heard you talking on the phone with the girl you love more than anyone. So, just leave. I don't want to ruin anything for you guys. And, I'm pregnant. So, please leave."

" But, you're the girl thatI love more than anything. Haven't you noticed that over the years even until now?"

" You know, you should really stop telling girls you love them when you don't. I don't care if you come to me whenever I need you to. That just shows how unfaithful you are to your current girlfriends."

" Well, maybe if we were single at the same fucking time, life would be easier. I love you, okay? I never lied about loving you. But, I just don't understand how I feel right now. I'm in love with you, but I planned on being with Rose for a long time. She could probably be the girl that I'll marry."

" Is that what you want? After what me and you just did?"

" You're making this hard. You are the one that started that shit! I know how fragile you are and how much you've been through already-"

" So, you slept with me out of pity? Great. That's even better, Ryan! Just get the fuck out!"

He grabbed her face and forced a kiss onto her. But she pushed him off. " That's not what I was trying to say. You've been though a lot, okay? You don't deserve rejection. I wanted to do this with you for a very long time, Halsey. So, it wasn't out of pity. I wanted to do it too. I want to stay and be with you. So, wait for me. Don't go with Brendon. Wait for me because I always waited for you."

" What do I wait for? What if a man already loves me and wants to save me? Why should I wait for a man who's in love with someone else? Don't leave Rose for me. She's deeply in love with you. Just imagine it. It's like leaving me for Helena-"

" I'd never leave you for anyone. Especially not Helena."

" But that's how it'd be for her. I loved you more than Helena, clearly. You still stayed with her. So, just...just don't make me wait for you. You're not going to break a girl's heart just because you'd rather be with me even though she didn't do anything wrong. I love you. I'll love you for a very long time, but I don't want you to leave Rose for me."

" If you loved me, you'd wait for me."

" You clearly didn't wait for me."

" Halsey, you were with Josh for more 5 fucking years. I didn't expect that to break off suddenly. You never showed any sign of feelings towards me anyways."

" Just leave."

" No, Halsey. Fuck, I'm not leaving until we resolve this, okay?"

" What about Rose?"

" I care about you more than anyone."

Ryan's POV

Rose kept on calling him, but he wouldn't answer his phone. She was waiting for him at her house. He was still at Halsey's apartment. She kept on saying how she wouldn't wait for him. He wanted her to wait for him, but he didn't even know if he wanted to really leave Rose. He loved them both.

" Please, Halsey. If you really want to be with me, you'd wait," he said.

" Well, I didn't make you wait when you wanted to be with me," she replied.

" I still waited because I loved you. You know what? I think we can just resolve this another time. But, just know that I love you, okay? I love you so fucking much Halsey Evens. You don't understand how much I love you and how hard this is for me."

" At least you're not the one that's pregnant," she mumbled quietly. But he heard her.

He kissed her again before going to her room to put on the rest of his clothing. He couldn't explain how he felt right now. Yes, he's deeply in love with Halsey. He has always been that way. But he loves Rose too. He's grown to love her deeply and now he's stuck. This time, Halsey isn't leading him on, it's the other way around. He's making her wait for him.

***

Rose snuggled into Ryan. The air was hot, so it was really uncomfortable. 

" Babe, can we turn on the fan? It's really hot," Ryan said as an excuse for her to get off of him. Ever since he got to her place, he was been very distant. He used many excuses to leave or to not be near her. He'd say he'd get water or go to the bathroom every five minutes. Anything. Rose was already starting to notice. She looked like she was going to cry when she nodded yes.

" Is there something wrong, Ryan? Did I do something to make you not want to hold me or be with me today?" Rose finally asked. Ryan closed his eyes in shame right before he was about to turn on the fan. He shook his head. " I must have done something....Please tell me. You're being so distant all of the sudden."

" It's nothing Rose. It's just really hot today and I guess I have a peeing problem. You really didn't do anything wrong, baby. Come on, let's keep on cuddling now that it won't be as hot." He crawled back on the bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her and she cuddled into him. He kissed the top of her head. " I love you Rosie. Don't ever think anything is your fault."

He felt so much regret saying the three most important words in the world knowing that he was in love with no one other than Halsey Evens.