Colors

Chapter 42: Arguments & Surprises

Halsey's POV

" Will you talk to me please?" Josh asked. She turned away from, looking at the view of the city from the rooftop of a building. It's not like she hasn't thought about jumping before. It was one of those days where she just wanted to let go, where life was too hard and life didn't matter anymore. It was one of those days. Josh stood behind her, watching her as she sat on the edge.

" What's there to say? I'm just a screw up. All I do is mess things up. I'm a fucking hurricane of problems," she said quietly, letting tears roll down her red face.

" You may be a screw up, but who isn't? You think people out there are perfect? No one is. We've all done stupid shit that regret till this day. You think this is going to solve anything? It won't. All it will do is pass on sadness to everyone who loves you."

" That's why I haven't done it yet. I care about all of you. I never want to see you friends and family hurt because of me. I don't want that. But lately, everything is too hard to think about family. Everything just fucking hurts, Josh. Everything started when we broke up."

" Everything started when Ryan showed up."

His name stung her heart. Ryan. No matter how much she tried to ignore it, it was the truth. Ever since Ryan came back, all the problems started. Josh started acting out, she was involved with him too much, everything was too much. But she can't blame all her problems on Ryan just because he was present during all of it.

" You acted out on your own. That was your own fault, don't blame him."

He scoffed. " Until this day, after all the trouble he caused, you still defend him. I don't understand why you see so much good in bad people."

" If I didn't see good in bad people, I wouldn't be with you right now. After what you did, you're just as low as all the boys who hurt me. Literally the only guy who hasn't let me down is Brendon and I'm abut to kill his first child."

" You both didn't intend the pregnancy and that's not your fault. Don't let him guilt trip you. You don't even want this."

" I know, but I don't know if I want to do this to my first...my first kid...even if they were unintended."

" How do you think your child will feel knowing they weren't meant to be born yet? They will feel like a goddamn burden. Do you want to do that to them?"

" You know what?" She looked over her shoulder and faced him. " It seems like you really want me to get rid of this child. Why? Why can't you also support their life?"

" Seriously? You're turning this argument against me? Okay...First of all, you're the one who told me you didn't want your first child to live this way. Everything you've told me convinced me that you're not ready to have this kid and I don't want you to regret having a kid because you won't love them completely like a parent should. I'm just helping you do what's best for you, I'm on your side, not Brendon's."

She walked over to him. " I know I know, but I don't know what to do. I'm sorry Josh. I...I'm just lost and I'm still scared like I still can't believe that I'm even pregnant. Brendon has put a to of pressure on me and I feel obligated to keep this kid."

" This is your choice, okay? You don't even have to tell me what your choice is, just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I don't want to let you down anymore than I already have."

" I need you to drive me somewhere. I need to talk to someone."

" Who?"

" I need to talk to Ryan."

He rolls his eyes. " Of all people in the fucking world, seriously?"

Ryan's POV

There were boxes all over the house. They had move everything back from the truck back inside the house. They decided they'd unpack the boxes once they were back from their trip.