Colors

~Chapter 45~

Halsey's POV

Jay called her talking about an interview coming up soon and just to be prepared for personal questions. She already knew that they were likely going to ask about the baby. What would happen if she got rid of the baby? How would her fans see her? Would they support her decision or call her a murderer?

She called Josh, crying, thinking about what Ryan said and her image. The call was on, but he didn't say anything. " Josh, I need to get out of here. I need to like get on a plane and go somewhere because New York isn't working out. Everything fucking sucks here and I just need to go," she said into the phone.

" You're just gonna leave New York all together? Like move?" He asked.

" Not...Maybe. I don't know, I just know that right now, this isn't where I want to be. I don't want to go to LA either, anywhere but those two places."

" What happened? Why do you all of the sudden need to leave? Did something happen with Ryan? You can tell me...I promise I won't get mad, these are serious problems."

" This is not something I can say over the phone. Come back. Go the apartment."

" Okay, I'll see you soon."

Ryan's POV

When he got back home, he noticed Z on the couch typing on her laptop.

" Hey," she looked up and smiled at him. " How did things go at Halsey's?"

He sat down on the couch beside her. " You don't even want to fucking know, Elizabeth. She's confusing as fuck and I'm not at all happy with any of the decisions she's making. For one thing, she doesn't even know if she wants to fucking kid. But it seems like she's leaning towards the side that she does want a baby. If she does have the kid, she said she'd take them with her on tour which means I'd either get excluded from my baby's life or..have to give up on whatever dream I have because I'm too busy following them around the globe."

" Sounds like you have a real problem here, Ry."

" No shit. I even called my dad. Wanna know what he fucking said? I said to marry her."

" Marriage? Aren't you, like, way too young to even think about marriage yet? You shouldn't even be engaged or anything yet, I was surprised when Brendon proposed. But marriage? In a scenario like this too? Some shit like this would make me mad. Like t's not even out of love, it's out of pity or force."

" That's why I told my dad he's crazy," he chuckled. " That's when he explained that, oh I really do love her and these are suppressed feelings finally being released. Apparently he knew that I have always loved Halsey and that we'd be together." She looked down and frowned. Then he remembered her feelings. " I-I'm sorry. Like I said, my dad is being stupid and I'm not gonna marry her."

" No...Don't let me stop you from being with the one you love. Ryan, I see where your dad is coming from. You have loved her since high school and you always seem to choose her. Why is it when you have the chance to get her you turn away? You ignore her and reach for something else? Maybe you really should marry her. It's destined anyway, right? You guys always find your way back to each other no matter what." She tried not to sound like she was hurting, but he could hear her.

He sighed. " This hurts you. I'm sure everything I've ever done with another girl has hurt you. They had chances and you never had one. How was any of this fair for you?"

" I don't want it to be fair for me. I like what we have already. I can take care of you properly and you can live happily in my life still. I love you, yes, but I'm not gonna be selfish and ask you to be with me. I don't even know if I want a relationship like that anyway. I told you already. Maybe I don't want a chance, only a chance to be your guardian as I've always been through these years."