Twisted tale of Negan

Breakeven

What am i gonna do, when the best part of me was always you, and. What i supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?

I laid there in bed, and everything was crystal clear to me, the lies Negan had told to sneak off. The betrayal I'm his eyes when he would get to the house late. The way Rosita would eye him as he walked passed her. All the signs were there, and yet i was so oblivious to them. So freaking stupid!

Negan lays there, and makes me feel guilty, makes me feel like I'm crazy. I stuck by this man throughout everything, he had me believing he is a changed man. But I'm not so sure anymore.

I sit straight up and eye him as he gets dressed. My heart is broken, never would i peg Negan to be a cheater! We have a child together for Christ sake. I know I'm weak, and i know I'm broken. But that's not an excuse to walk over me and think its okay.

"Negan, get out." i state trying to hold back tears.

"Huh?" he asks confused.

"Get. Get out of my house you lying piece of shit!" i choked out. And cried.

He seemed completely unfazed, almost as if he didn't care he hurt me, but in reality when has he ever? He grabbed his bag and walked out of the room, i clench onto a pillow and cry into it.

I'm confused, i have so much self hatred right now, maybe if i was thinner, he could love me. Maybe if i showed more skin, he could love me. Maybe i'm just too much for any man to love.. All except Rick.

I hear light footsteps and see Abraham standing at the foot of my head. "What?" i wipe away tears and try to calm down.

"I imagine you just found out too" he says slowly. He pulls out a cigar and lights it. "What a bunch of donkey dicks this is"

I chuckle slightly and calm down. "Yeah, donkey dicks"

He takes a drag and smiles as he exhales "Don't worry darlin, he will come around"

I shurg and pull my pillow to my chest "I'm just not good enough for hi-"

"Now you stop that! Lucy, listen. You are the bees fucking knees. He is the one truly missing out."

I smile, he wipes away a tear and looks straight into my eyes "trust me he will come crawling back, oh and when he does. Lay down the rules.. Boss lady"

He walks away. "It's gonna be alright!" he yells as we walks down the stairs.

Katherine comes into the room and noticed i have been crying with my eyes all red and puffy "mom? Did daddy hit you?"

"Oh no honey, why would you say that?"

"Cause last night, you had blood all over you.." she becomes frightened and comes onto the bed "I'm so glad you're okay mommy" she wraps her tiny arms around me.

"I'll be okay, love why don't you go get changed.. And we can go to Maggie's"

She smiles from ear to ear she got off of my bed and ran to her room.

I got up and slipped on sweats and a long sleeve, considering i still need to check up with Amber, i brought extra clothes.