Twisted tale of Negan

Something awful

Whilst i was cooking dinner, i realized the events that took place earlier today.

From Negan and daryl trscking me down and finding me

To me finding out i was indeed pregnant

Also finding out Daryl had the hots for me.

Its all too overwhelming. I'm trying to get Daryl out of my head, but i just can't. Theres no way I'm attracted to him. Right?

He is an isolated asshole, who finds joy in being and working alone. How is he capable of having feelings, and out of all the girls here in Alexandria, it had to be me? I had to get some answers from someone, or else this is going to drive me insane.

I walked away from the rice i was cooking and into the livingroom, i slipped on my coat and boots when Negan notices I'm leaving

"Where are you going?" he asks leaning against the doorframe. 

"Out" i say lacing up my boots.

"You aren't leaving until you tell me where"

I looked up to him, and sighed out

"I need to speak with Rick" i say trying to walk past him and out of the door.

He steps in my way "why? And for how long?" he growled.

Should i really tell him about how Daryl has the hots for me? And how Rick and i had a fling while he was gone? It would break him, and even worse he would be more then pissed with Daryl and Rick, and all my hard work over the passed few months of trying to keep everyone from killing each other would go down the drain. And it'll all be MY fault.

"I'll explain everything when i get back.. It wont take too long."

He gave me a toothy grin and held out his arms "alright, gimme a hug and a kiss"

I did as i was told, i wrapped my arms around his neck, and stood on my tiptoes, i gave him a quick peck and stepped down.

"I'll be back i promise.. Watch the rice, and go ahead and open a can on corn"

I walked out and let the cold air hit my face, this weather is so bipolar, it could go from storming, to super hot, to freezing.

I breathed out and saw my breath in the air.

I walked quickly to Ricks house, hoping not to draw any attention to me.

I approached the door and knocked twice.

The door opened and a very unpleased Carl stood there "can i help you?" he asked rudely.

Just then little judy walked up to Carl's side and waved at me.

I ignored Carl and bent down to grab Judith. She had to be about two and she was walking.

"Hey big girl" i say kissing her cheek. She smiles and laughs. I kiss her forehead

"May i come in Carl, i need to speak with your father"

He shrugged and stepped aside.

I saw that Rick was in sweats and a navy blue hoodie. Surprisingly matching Judith. He was sitting on the sofa, messing with his Python. It surprised me that he was messing with his gun around Judith.

I set her back on the floor and she walked away to her toys.

"I'm heading out dad" Carl says putting on his leather jacket he found.

"Be careful son" Rick states.

He lifts his head up and glances at me then to Carl. Carl nods and leaves.

I decided to break the silence

"Where's Carl going?" i asked sitting down next to Rick.

He shrugged "out with Daryl, getting more supplies.. Food.. Clothes.." his voice trailed off once he put the python back together.

"It's chilly outside, isn't it?"

"Okay what do you want luc?" Rick asked becoming inpatient.

"Answers.."

"Like?"

"Like Daryl wanting to get with me?"

He set the python down and looked at me, his eyes wide and a look of shock on his face.

"Daryl wants to get with you? Oh don't even flatter yourself, are you trying to get back at me or something?" he laughed sarcastically.

"I am not!" i object "he came to me today at the store and told me he wanted to be with me! How dare you call me some sort of liar!"

Judith walks into the living room and walks straight up to Rick

"Daddy... Hungry" she says.

He sighs out and runs his hands through his hair he picks judith up and puts her on his hip, he walks to the kitchen and i follow.

He sets her down in her high chair and cuts up an apple.

"Rick.. Look.. I know we had some sort of.. Frienship-"

"Friendship? Are you kidding me?" he says annoyed "you and i were fucking like bunny rabbits, yeah that sounds like a friendship" he said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes "i told you i was going to be with Negan as soon as he came back"

He stopped cutting the apple and faced me. "Yeah.. Well.. I thought maybe if i treated you like a real man would, you wouldn't even crawl back to him.. But if anything that's the first thing you did"

I stood there, mortified at Ricks words. "You have to understand.. That's my husband.. That's the man i love Rick. Just because you treated your wife like shit after you found out she was pregnant doesn't mean i need to treat Negan bad over a few months of being alone"

Rick bowed his head.

I realized what i said and it was all too late. I shouldn't have brought Lori into this. I know it was a complicated love triangle between him, Lori, and his partner Shane. And Rick did still love her, but he was heartbroken.

All i wanted to do was hug him. I know after all of these years he still loves Lori, no matter how difficult they were. And i was the first person he truly opened up to after her death romantically.

He shook his head and pursed his lips together "get out" he says lowly. He turned around and placed the apple onto judys tray.

"Rick i didn-"

"Get out now" he yelled.

I nodded and headed towards the door. I twisted the doorknob and looked back at Rick who was feeding Judith

"I'm telling Negan.. I'm telling him everything" i said lowly.

Rick eyed me and shrugged as he continued to feed Judith.

A pit formed in my stomach, i felt super guilty.

I walked throughout Alexandria and decided i would knock on Maggie's door to possibly spend the night there, just in case Negan and i get into an argument.

"Hey hon" Maggie whispered as she held a sleeping jr in her arms.

"Can i stay here tonight?" i asked quickly.

She nodded.

I turned and walked away

"Wait what for?" she whisper shouted.

I turned around and frowned slightly "I've done something awful.."