Twisted tale of Negan

second chances

That night i couldnt help but to feel guilty. Sure, I like Rick. But he will never, ever, compare to my husband.

I laid there next to Rick, feeling very disgusted with myself. I can't believe I would say I love him back.

Don't get me wrong, Rick is a very handsome man. And quite frankly very very leadership like. But again, Negan is my husband.

I got very restless trying to come up with a way to break it to Rick without hurting him.

Earlier at dinner, Carl didn't come clean about Enid and him. And neither did I come clean about Maggie and I.

Im starring at the ceiling now, contemplating everything.

"Lucy, we need to talk" Rick said. Which surprised me, because I could have sworn he was fast asleep by now.

"Yes?" I answered.

"I know you dont love me.." his voice trailed off.

I froze "why. Why do you say that?" I questioned.

He sighed "Lucy, you are so crazy about Negan, when I first met you, thats all you were ever talkin about, was how much he meant to you. I know you will never talk about me like that"

I teared up "I'm so so sorry Rick, but you've got to understand, he is my husband."

He nodded and shifted a little "Ive thought it over, and I believe that you can find someone that you can spend the rest of your life with"

I turned toward Rick and nodded "thank you for everything"

He nodded "no problem.. now, go to him. I'm sure he would be happy to hear this" he said quietly as he turned over to go to sleep.

I got out of the bed and slipped on my boots. I took one last look at the life I could have had, than walked out into Alexandria, when I bumped into an old friend.

"Hey there girly, where ya heading?" Abraham asked.

I smiled and shrugged "I'm just on my way home" I stated.

Abraham quirked an eyebrow, he finally caught onto what I meant "oh shit balls... Back to Negan?" He asked.

I nodded.

He sighed "you are a helluva girl Lucy."
I smiled and nodded "thank you"

I walked off to the house I once called home, I stood and stared at it for a moment, remembering the first time I had ever stepped foot into it, with Katherine by my side, and Negan and his hooligans bossing around the people of Alexandria.

I can still hear the excitement in Katherine's voice that day, she was so happy to be back with Rick and Daryl.

I opened the door slowly, to see that the kitchen light was on. Puzzled, I walked fully into the house and shut the door behind me.

I walked slowly into the kitchen to see Negan making some corn.
"It's 2 am, what are you doing here?" He asked, his back turned towards me.

I didn't say anything, instead I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his body from behind. I buried my head into his back, leaving small kisses.

"Lucy..." Negan spoke, tiredness lacing his voice.
"Negan..." I mocked him, still kissing his back.

He chuckled, and turned around to face me. I looked up at him and smiled.
"Cmon, why are you here?" He asked.
I looked down and pretended to pout "do you not want me anymore?" I asked in a baby voice.

He laughed "I never said that"
I sighed out and hugged him tight, causing him to chuckle at me
"Negan can I tell you something?" I said lowly.
He looked down at me and nodded "not like I got much of s choice, now do I?" He smirked.

"I missed you. I tried so hard to push you to the back of my mind. But I just couldn't... And with today, with Katherine.." By now I had busted into tears. 

He pursed his lips together and nodded his head understandingly "do you think I didn't think about you? Because I did. Every. Damn. Day" he spoke.

I looked up to him "I'm so sorry negan, I'm sorry you ever met me. I'm nothing but a disaster-"

"Stop that, you aren't a disaster. You know that. Baby, listen you are in no ways a problem to me. You're the one I married all those years back."

I smiled as he wiped away my tears

He continued "you were the one I loved. I still love you Lucy, I couldn't just stop loving you. You were the mother of my child." He kissed my forehead.

"Can.. Can I come back? Please! I can't do this alone Negan, I just can't" I cried.

"Shh.. Shh.. Of course baby" he held me tighter to him.
I looked up to him as he squished my face. I couldn't help but giggle at how affectionate he was being towards me.

He looked down at me in my eyes, he smiled slightly, he leaned in slowly, and placed his lips on mine. My eyes lit up with excitement as I kissed him back harder.

He somehow managed to push me against a counter, I hopped on it and smiled at Negan.

He quickly placed his lips back on mine, harder and harder we kissed. I let him slide his tongue in my mouth, allowing him to dominate me.

I quickly pulled back to stop kissing him. We both were out of breath, and he just sat there and smiled at me. I could tell he was tired, just by his goofy little smile.

I kissed him one last time and pulled back

"My partner in crime" he mumbled against my lips.

I smiled and broke up the kiss, "cmon, we should get some sleep" I hopped down from the counter and made my way to the staircase.

He followed closely behind me, we both ran up the stairs like teenagers, I had never been so happy to be in a bed before in my life.

I quickly took off my jeans, and boots, I laid down in the bed and sunk in.

I let out a sigh of relief, Negan had noticed me and just looked at me.

"This feels just right." I said quickly defending myself.

He laughed and laid down next to me "oh yeah, no kidding"
We sat there for a little bit, in juts complete silence, I think we both were just trying to comprehend what is happening.
After about thirty minutes I couldn't take it.

"Negan?" I asked quietly.
"Hm?" He hummed in response, obviously halfway asleep by now.

"Can you.. I mean if you want to.. Can you hold me?" I asked shyly.
He let out a tired small laugh "yeah, come here baby"

I smiled widely and cuddled up next to him. I placed my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

I felt so comfortable and relaxed in his arms. More comfort than I've had in awhile. And this is when I realized, I didn't need to have sex to feel emotional comfort, I just needed the right person to comfort me. And who would have thought it would have been the man I was yearning for?

"Lucy?" Negan asked.
"Mhm?"
"I love you. Don't you ever leave me again. I gotta get you a leash or something" he joked.
I laughed and slapped his chest lightly, and playfully "I love you too, my crazy ass husband"

He kissed the top of my head and smacked my ass playfully

"Damn right"