You Make It Real (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) {EDITING}

Chapter 33

PIPER'S P.O.V.

I pulled Harry close to me, feeling his member against my leg harden. I didn't think that I was ready to have sex but I wanted to get over it. What better way than to make love to my incredibly sexy boyfriend? My heart started to race as he brought his lips to my neck, softly sucking on my skin. I closed my eyes and thought of James. My eyes shot open again and I looked at Harry to keep myself in touch with reality. I ran my fingers through his hair, reminding myself that only Harry could make me feel good. I had to let him or I would never get through this. He brought his hand to my breast and lightly massaged it, but instead of feeling good, I felt scared. I knew it was Harry but I kept thinking about James. Once I feel him inside of me, I knew it would be different. There was no way I could feel his familiar presence and still remember what James did. But, that was the problem. I didn't actually remember. I was scared of Harry's touch but it was like instinct, I couldn't really remember why. I pulled his face back to mine and spread my legs to hint to him my desire for his entrance. 

"Harry, please."

"Are you sure, Piper? What if it's too much? Aren't you sore?"

"Shhh. I need this."

He looked concerned but kissed me again, tenderly and slowly. He positioned himself on top of me and I leaned my torso back to make it easier. As soon as he slowly entered me, I felt my entire body tense up. He felt familiar but foreign. It was uncomfortable; unlike any other time we'd had sex. From the first time we slept together, when we didn't even know each other, I felt comfortable with him. How could one person ruin our intimacy. I felt my eyes water and burn, tears falling down my cheeks. Harry had been watching me, never convinced that I was ready. As soon as I started crying, he pulled out and hugged me tightly.

"Piper, shhhh. I knew this wasn't right. It's too soon."

He seemed angry at himself and I hated that. I tried to convince him that I was ready and he knew I wasn't. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck.

"Harry, I can't... Why did this happen to me? That fucker screwed me up so bad that it's affecting me and you and I can't-"

My sobs cut me off and I knew I would be rambling if I continued. I had nothing important to say; Harry knew how I felt.

"Love, don't you think for a second that I'm going to be insensitive about this. I will wait as long as you need before we have sex again. I could never be intimate with you, knowing that you were scared or hurt and I could never force it."

He stroked my hair lightly, trying to calm me down, but I needed to cry. I needed to just let my emotions escape, even though I hated to be that way in front of Harry. He was so much more understanding than I could have expected. He was calm, collected, and knew just what to do and say. If I were at home, who knows if I would have even told anyone by then. He was good for me, even if our relationship was difficult because of his career. I wished he could just stay with me all the time, but we made the best of it.

"I think I want to try to sleep again."

"Of course."

He grabbed the soap from behind him and started to softly lather it onto my skin, handing the bottle to me so that I could do the same. His touch still felt good, which made this all more difficult. I wanted him but as soon as I had him, I panicked. Once we were both rinsed clean, he stepped out of the tub and pulled a towel around his waist before grabbing a second towel. He held out a hand and helped me step out of the bath, wrapping the towel around me like a child, trying to warm me up. I followed him into the room and sat down on the bed.

"Can I have some of your pajamas? They're more comfy than mine."

He grinned and pulled out a pair of flannel pants and a black V-neck, bringing them over to me. He took the towel off of me and dropped it on the ground, pulling the shirt over my head as I slipped my arms through. Then, he got down on his knees and slid the pants over my legs, kissing my thighs before I stood up to let him bring them over my hips. I pulled myself up toward the pillows and crawled into the sheets as he turned and put on a pair of tight boxers. When he joined me, he brought himself against my back, spooning me and kissing the back of my head.