You Make It Real (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) {EDITING}

Chapter 27

PIPER'S P.O.V.

Who told him about Matthew? I didn't even know what to say? Did he already know and just asked to give me the chance to explain? He didn't seem to know. He seemed jealous and if he knew who Matthew was, there's no way he would feel that way.

"Piper, please. I want to know. Did he hurt you? Is that what your brother was talking about?"

"Well, not on purpose, at least."

"Yeah, he said something along those lines, too. Then, I saw that picture of you at prom with him. It seemed serious, but you've never mentioned him. You know about Karen and Andrea. I just want to know everything about you, Piper. Good and bad."

He kissed my forehead, encouraging me to continue.

"Well, he was my boyfriend. We were together for four years, all through high school and even when we started college. He started before me but we lived on campus together for a few months. I really loved him, Harry. I'm not saying that to hurt you, I just want you to understand what I went through. About a year and a half ago, we were driving back to campus from visiting his parents and-"

My tears broke my sentence and I buried my head in his neck. I had never told anyone that story. Everyone who knew, knew because they were around at the time. I had never had to tell someone new about Matthew that didn't know him.

"He was such an amazing man, Harry. He really was." I choked back sobs so that I could finish. "We stopped to get gas and I went inside to get water since we were out at home. He told me to get coffee for him too because he had to study for a big test. So, I went inside and while I was making his coffee, I heard some noise coming from outside, men yelling. I peeked out the window to see what was going on and right as I did, I saw," I paused to gather my thoughts, "I saw a hooded man pull a gun out of his jacket and shoot Matt in the chest two times." The crying was uncontrollable at that point and Harry was even tearing up, but I talked through the tears "The person who worked at the gas station called 911 immediately but the man ran off as soon as it happened. I ran outside, screaming like a lunatic, but Matt was already gone when I reached him. According to another person who was outside when it happened, the man asked Matt for money to get gas and he apologized, saying he didn't have any cash. He kept bugging him and told him that he would go ask his 'fine ass bitch' for some and that sent Matt overboard. He yelled at him to go away and to leave us alone, which is when I heard them and walked to the window." 

I couldn't get any more words out; my lamenting taking over. Harry was legitimately crying at that point, holding me close to him, feeling as though he would never let go and I didn't want him to. After a few minutes, he lifted my face up so we were looking into each other's glassy eyes.

"Piper, I am so sorry for bringing it up. I can't imagine how hard that was on you. You're such a strong woman, you know that?"

"Not really. I took it really tough. I didn't leave my parents' house for months. I developed severe depression, anxiety, and OCD, all three of which I still struggle with. I began to hurt myself and really wanted to die. I told myself that it was my fault that he died and even though I know now that isn't true, it still seeps into my head now and then. I thought that maybe if I wasn't there, Matt would have never snapped at him and maybe he would have just moved on. That's actually why I got that tattoo. 'Living is easy with eyes closed'. As long as I don't think too much about it, I can't blame myself, which is how it should be. I let my thoughts get in the way of reality and the tattoo is to remind me not to over-think things. It took me at least a year to get back to school. This is technically my first semester back."

"Sweetheart, it was in no way your fault, and I hate to think of you feeling that way. I'm so sorry. Do you talk to anyone about it?"

"I still see a therapist, but I have never told her everything I just told you. I tell her what she wants to hear and hope she'll leave me alone. I'm not close to that woman; I know that she doesn't love me." How did I let the L word slip again? "I didn-"