Anxiety

Flaws

You're on a trip far away from here with your friends. 

On the first night you had too much to drink and didn't pick up the phone for a few hours. I was sure you'd passed out so I texted your best friend but he didn't reply until the morning after. You called me and said you were fine and then you asked how I was. I was fine but I was scared. 

I didn't tell you that part though.

Today marks one week since you kissed me on your door step and drove home from my graduation party. You wore a nice suit and you had a nice haircut. My grandma fell and you caught her, she said it was fine, nothing hurt. 

My mother told me she really likes you, she thinks you're a great guy. I think so too but I don't want my parents to be involved, in case you don't want me anymore you know. I know you're great, the greatest even, but when you're gone I don't want my parents to remind me of how amazing you are. I'm trying to find flaws in everything you do, I want to collect them and I want to chill with my feelings. Sure, you do have flaws, many of them actually. It's just that I either accept them or love them. I could never hate you. 

We've been dating, hanging out, whatever, for eight months. You haven't asked me to be your girlfriend yet. My friends tell me that I already am, but I don't feel like I am. And even though I would die to be yours, I understand that might never be. Maybe we're just not for each other, even though I sometimes ask myself if I even love you. I'm not going to tell you that, I already told you that I'm in love with you. 

But if you ever confessed you loved me, I would sure as hell let you know that I love you too.