Anxiety

Different

Today has been... different.

We went to the beach and things were supposed to be great, this day was supposed to be perfect.

But I haven't cried in a while, and I'm used to cry myself to sleep so it's been hard for me to stay focused on the positive stuff.

My brother hitting me didn't make any of the situation better, so I couldn't stop myself from crying. I wasn't sobbing, way too many people were surrounding me and I didn't want my friends and family to see me cry. I mean, I didn't wanna ruin their day. Because this day wad supposed to be...

...perfect.

All I truly wanted was to go back home, because it's much easier to just let it all out in the shower. But for some reason I couldn't manage to even get up from the sand, so I stayed there.

I stayed there and I cried. Quiet enough for no one to hear and descreet enough for no one to see.

Today has been different and definitely not perfect.