Anxiety

Boys

Uhm, hi? I don't know where to start to be honest.

I've been away for a while. And it's been different. I don't know.

I feel different.

I've lost weight. Like, a lot of weight. 

That makes me happy, I guess. 

I also met this boy. We stay up till 6 am on school nights talking. 

We talk about most things. How we hate the distance between us, and how he sleeps with four pillows because it feels empty now that he's not with his ex girlfriend anymore. 

We talk everyday. He thinks I'm stubborn. 

So do I. 

He's constantly on my mind. 

So this one night, we were on skype and I told him I liked him. He already knew that, of course, but I still told him. 

He likes me too. 

But there's this other boy. 

If I decided to put my sneakers on and leave the house, it would take me 5 minutes to get to him. We talk aswell. Not about life like me and this other boy do, but we talk about other things. 

He thinks I'm insanely pretty. 

I don't know about that. 

He plays hockey. And the guitar. And he's blonde. 

And we're meeting. 

I'm excited for valentines day. 

I know that I'm going to spend it on my own, but still. 

I'm not going to keep my hopes up, I really don't want to do that, but I can't help myself. 

I can't help myself. 

 

School sucks. 

I'm failing most subjects, I'm just not good enough. 

I just feel dizzy and I have no idea what's going on in my life to be completely honest. 

These last couple of weeks have been so different and I've been to parties and I've talked to new people (even though I didn't enjoy it one bit) and I've gained some confidence. 

I'm glad somethings finally happening in my life, and I'm excited for the future. 

And I've recevied all of your beautiful messages. If you ever need to talk, just talk okay?