Anxiety

I have anxiety. 

It's always with me. When I wake up and when I go to sleep. When I go to school and when I get home from school. When I work out and when I'm not working out. 

It took me a while to figure out that I need help. It took me a while to realize that crying every night because you're lonely isn't healthy. 

It took me some time to realize that I've stopped eating completely. It's easy to just stop, and blame your sadness on the fact that you're running out of energy. Like a car that needs fuel, and without that it can't drive. I'm that car and I'm at a stop. 

All I do is lie in bed in hope for some miracle to happen. 

I can't eat. I can't think of all of the things that have happened these past couple of months. I never knew heartbreak could feel like this, I had no idea how much it actually affected me. 

But here I am, exhausted and in pain. It's like everything's constantly aching. 

I never needed him in my life. But I can't get over it. I'm over him, but not the situation. I will truly never understand what happened and I will never forgive myself for being so stupid. 

I'm in desperate need of finding someone else to make me feel somewhat complete again, but what's the use? They all leave in the end and I'm not sure I can take such pain again.