Anxiety

And I hate that

You know that feeling when you get at times. That feeling that gives you a boost, that feeling that makes you believe in yourself.

I always get that feeling at night.

As I lay there in bed, I just think about what I could do to change things.

I could eat less.

I could work out more.

I could do lots of stuff.

But when I wake up the next day, the motivation is gone. I just don't seem to care anymore. I wish that motivation could stay forever, I really need something to keep me going.

"Wow you eat a lot." they say one day.

"You should eat more, are you sick or something?" they say the other day.

But the thing is, whatever I do, I feel sick. Sick of how they look at me. As a freak.

I don't wanna be that anymore.