I lost, but i fought || J.B

chapter 13

"i really am thank full, it's just that calling you mom, makes me loose the only connection i still have to them. it's the thing that holds our string, i-i just can't change that, calling you mom is like i stop thinking about them" i confessed. i looked at her. she is staring at me.

"i'm really sorry for yelling at you" her face softened, she came and gave me a hug.

"i'm sorry for rushing you. i know what happened to you and i still rushed you" it felt so good getting hug. feeling like you were forgiven. "but i still don't want your money, and where did you get them?" i nodded

"i sang outside of Avon theatre for three hours" i said smiling, just thinking about all the people listening made me so happy.

"just to pay me back?"

"yeah" i said still smiling.

"you really shouldn't have"

"but it was fun" the smile wouldn't go away. she smiled back.

after the drama i just went to bed i was tired, but still i couldn't sleep.

after a night of staying up it was time for school, even though i didn't sleep, I felt well rested and not tired at all. i actually had a feeling this day would be a good day and i was excited. i took a shower and i braided my hair in pig-braids. i put on some light make up and sprayed some of one directions perfume on, i mean I'm not a directioner, but man this perfume smells like heaven.

my walk-in closet is now pretty much filled. i took out some leggings that were black and had stars on. and a t-shirt that says 'crazy mofos'. i put on a beanie and my supras. i bought everything that I'm wearing yesterday. i walked downstairs. since i was awake all night i just woke up a little earlier, okay maybe two hours earlier, but my point is i have good time. so i'm gonna make some pancakes for christian and Caitlin. i walked up to my room and took out my secret treasure chest, that i also picked up from the hotel. luckily i managed to not loose the key during those three weeks of hell, so that also gave me some proof it was mine. well inside it had all these things that i got from my grandma and grandpa before they died, some things that i got from mom and dad, and most importantly the things that Lucas gave me and the things my friends gave me. i also had a ring inside there that Justin gave me when i was at the hospital, it was a typical H&M ring. it had a diamond in the middle. he told me it was our friendship ring, a proof that he would always be there for me, be there for me my ass, but still i couldn't find myself throwing it away. well enough talking about that, the thing i was gonna get from it was grandma's old recipe-book. she had written it itself and she had all her secrets in baking and cooking in there. it's a big mess, but still organized perfectly. it's many loose papers, since in the end she used up all the pages.

i grabbed the book and walked downstairs to the kitchen. i looked through the book. there was many pictures of me and granny inside it. she and Lucas was the only one in my family i felt accepted by. i always felt like they liked Lucas better than me, but Lucas would always tell me it wasn't true. i still loved them all even if i felt that way sometimes.

i started to make the batter. i didn't realize i had used an hour to look in my treasure chest and recipe book. i started to cook the pancakes and after half an hour i finished cooking the whole batter. i found some bacon in the fridge and i fried them. i took out two plates and put on two pancakes and three pieces of bacon on each. i placed them on the kitchen counter for Caitlin and christian to eat when they are ready. i started to eat my own food and man, i've missed these pancakes. Norwegian and Canadian pancakes are so different. Norwegian pancakes is thin and less sweet, they are also bigger. while the Canadian pancakes are fatter and is sweeter and smaller, i would rather have the Canadian pancakes for dessert, than breakfast or dinner.