I lost, but i fought || J.B

chapter 11

i am laying on the floor. my chest hurts. i can hardly breath. this room. if i stay here any longer i'm going to go crazy. i hear a sound, but i'm to tired to turn my head. it's too pain full. it sounds like a door opening and closing again. i close my eyes and try to swallow the bump in my throat. i open my eyes to see him leaned over me.

"hey there" he says in his deep Irish voice. he so scary. i close my eyes again. please just go away, the pain, the sadness, everything. i open my eyes, but he is still there. he drags my shirt higher, my stomach and boobs are now exposed. he pulls out a knife. the oh so familiar knife. and in no time its there again, the pain is sharp and it hurts, a lot. i let out a pain scream. the knife is still inside the wound, but he is not holding it. in one swift and harsh movement my pants is off. and he is inside of me. he thrust in and out, hard. its so pain full, i can feel it in my stomach. my woman-hood is aching, more and more for each thrust, for each round. i scream, and i scream. but he just slaps me and goes harder, but i scream louder. he lifts his hand to hit me again...

"HANNAH" is what wakes me up. i open my eyes to see a worried christian standing over me.

"are you okay?" am i okay? no, but i nod.

"had a bad dream?" he asked sitting on the edge of my bed.

"yeah" i said. i had been crying in my sleep and i was all sweaty.

"want to tell me about it?" he asked.

"i-it was o-one of the times he r-raped me" i said crying. he just hugged me and i cried into his shoulder.

after 5 minutes i calmed down, but christian was still hugging me. how did i get here last night? i fell asleep on the couch.

"how did i get here. to bed?" i asked.

"Ryan carried you" he said stroking my hair. it was so comforting when he did that.

"did they leave?"

"yeah, except Justin" he said. i just nodded.

we pulled out of the hug and christian started to get up, but i grabbed his wrist.

"sleep with me?" i asked with a puppy-look. i really didn't want to sleep alone it was scary.

"of course" he said and i made place for him and laid down. he put his arm around me, i felt safer. i fell asleep, with no nightmare.

i woke up by Christian's alarm, but he wasn't moving, he was still in deep sleep.

"christian!" i groaned. he didn't move at all.

"CHRISTIAN!" i screamed.

"what?" he groaned.

"turn your fucking alarm off!" i groaned. he moved his hand to find his phone and turned his alarm off. i stood up and shuffled to the bathroom, took a shower and got dressed. i took an a white skirt and a red shirt that was open on the back. i wore the same shoes as yesterday, put on a necklace and some earrings that i also picked up from the hotel, they used to be mama's.

a new school day, second day of school. joy. my first class is English with Mrs.sutcliffe and i won't understand a shit. at least i have Marcus there. it turns out me and him have every class together, and to my surprise he is standing by my locker.

"hi" he says moving so i can open my locker.

"hey" i say while opening it.

"ready for English?" he asks.

"no" i groan

"it's so hard" i whine.

"aww poor baby girl" he says pulling me in for a hug. i hug him back. it was a quick hug and we made our way towards class.

i walk up to the lady i her mid 40? i don't know. she has shoulder length curly hair. she is a little chubby, and very intimidating.

"excuse me Mrs.sutcliffe" i say as politely as i can.

"yes" she says.

"what can i help you with miss...?"

"Steele" i introduce myself. "miss. steele, are you the new student?" she asks.

"yes ma'm" i try my best to be polite.

"class" she says loud, and everybody is quiet. looks like i'm not the only one intimidated by her.

"new student everybody" she says pointing at me.

"tell us something about yourself"

"my name is Hannah. i live with the beadles. i used to live an hour from here" i said trying my best not to forget everything about myself.

"good, please sit down there" she pointed at the empty chair in the far back. Marcus was seated right in front of me.

i focused very hard, but i didn't understand anything. i don't even understand what she is talking about.

"stop frowning" Marcus said. i didn't even realize i was doing it. i do that when i focus very hard. i stop for a while, but after half a minute i start again.

"what's up? what's with the frown?" he asked.

"i don't understand anything" i say.

"what? this is easy"

"not to me" i whine.

"why?"

"okay this is a secret, but I'm from Norway" he looked at me shocked.

"then it has to be kinda hard" he said still a little shocked.

"yeah"

"you have to tell Mrs. sutcliffe" he said.

"i'll do it after this class" he nodded. 

the class was now over. i walked up to Mrs. sutcliffe

"as you might now, i don't have any home-works-"

"which is utterly stupid and unfair" she cut me off. i was shocked by her rudeness.

"do you know the reason?" i asked.

"no, but it should be the same for everyone" she spat.

"you know what? i've had a difficult time here in Canada, and i do not want hear any bullshit about things being unfair! i have people give me looks everywhere i go. i should wear long clothes all the time, because if i don't i get looks and comments, it shouldn't be like that" i spat at her. she looked very shocked.

"i have scars, both on my body and my mind. that's unfair, i bet that no one on this school has gone through what i have gone through" i said and shook my head. she just looked at me shocked. i started to walk out, but i stopped by the door.

"by the way, the reason is because I'm from Norway, i don't understand half of the things you talk about" i said without turning to look at her. Marcus was standing on the outside waiting for me. he looked at me and pulled me in for a hug.

"i'm sorry" he said, i guess he heard everything. i just nodded.

school is now over and i'm waiting for Caitlin and christian by her car. why are they taking so long? that's when i see a big circle around some one. i walk over to see and i see Leah standing over Caitlin, Caitlin has a blue eye and her lip is cracked open and bleeding. Leah is shouting at her.

"YOU BITCH, YOU STOLE MY MAN, HE'S MINE! I'M BETTER FOR HIS IMAGE! YOU WILL RUIN HIS REPUTATION, HE CAN'T BE SEEN WITH A UGLY BITCH LIKE YOU!" i understand that she is talking about Justin and Caitlin's relationship. i don't even think twice about doing what i'm about to do.

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next update: Wednesday

outfit on the side!

So on the last chapter the video that was suppose to be there wasn't there so i had to fix it, and obviously now it's there :D so go check it out!