I lost, but i fought || J.B

Chapter 22

when i'm done crying. i wipe the tears away from my face put a fake smile on and walk back to the kitchen. they are all sitting there eating. where i sat before i ran of is a plate with 3 eggs and 4 pieces of bacon. i sit down on the chair christian acknowledges that i am back.

"where were you?" he asks quietly.

"bathroom" i say not looking at him. i take up one bacon and start eating. i have a feeling that christian is starring an me. i look up at him, and i was right.

"you've been crying" he says softly. i shake my head. i don't want him to know. "liar" he says softlier than last time.

"okay, maybe i did" i say very quietly. i take my fork and cut a piece of egg with it.

"why?" he asks.

"i miss them" i say nodding. Eating the last piece of my first egg. i'm full.

"i know you do" he say.

"please don't talk about it, i will cry again" i say as i feel tears prickle in my eyes.

"sorry" he says. i take my plate and shove the two eggs and three pieces of bacon over to Christian's plate. he looks at me weirdly.

"i'm full" i say loudly so everyone can hear. "thank you will, it was delicious. my head really hurts so i'll just go to bed" i say. they all nod. i walk to my bedroom. my head doesn't really hurt, i just felt down. missing my family and stuff. i stalk in to my walk-in closet and dig out my treasure chest. I dig trough it, i look at pictures of me and Lucas. the chest is pretty big, but you can still hold it with your own hands easily. i dig my hand to the bottom and that's when i feel it. it's still there just like i said. i grab it and take my hand out again. the ring Justin gave me. i put it on my ring finger and put my hand out to admire it. it's simple and very fake, but it's the thought that counts.

"you still have it" Justin says from behind me. i turn to see he is standing in the door looking at me.

"yeah, how long have you been here?" i ask as i continue to dig.

"since you unlocked the chest" he says. wow he has been standing there for a long time, like 15 minutes.

"that's a long time" i say, my voice is really dull and i'm more focused on the chest than Justin.

"you looked so-" he tries to find the right word "happy" i look up at him. he looks me in my eyes.

"i was happy at that time" i say as i fish up a picture of me and Lucas. i'm pouting and he is grinning like an idiot. god, i miss him. 

(A/N when the text is bold and cursive they are talking Norwegian)

**flashback: 10 years ago**

"Lucas that is my CAR!" I yell the last word to my stupid twin. he took my car! 

"but Hannah i play with this and you play with that" he points to the brand new car mama got for him.

"no i want my car" i pout as he continue to play with MY car. he looks at me and smiles BIG. i pout more.

"Hannah i love you" he says and i look at him, but my pout doesn't disappear. i hear a click sound and a sharp flash that blinds me. i look up and see mama holding a camera.

"PICTURE TIME" Lucas screams, and it makes me smile. we take many photos.

**flashback over**

it's a stupid memorie, but he was so happy. i take up the other pictures that we took after my pout. Justin sits next to my and look at them with me. i tell him the story as we look at the pictures.

"damn, i was so mad at him, but he turned my mood upside down in seconds" i finish my story. he grins at me.

"sounds like one hell of a memory" he says.

"we had many" i say as i fish up another bunch of photos. 

we sit in my walk-in closet for ages talking about my memories with my friends, Lucas and grandparents. Justin was just listening, asking questions once in a while or maybe laugh, he is a great listener.

we watch picture in silence. my head on his shoulder, his head on mine. i fall asleep, my head on his shoulder, him carefully looking at pictures.

someone lifts me bridal style the strong muscular arms tell me that it's a boy. he puts me in bed and tucks me in. he kisses my forehead and i open my eyes to see Justin. he smiles down at me, and i smile weakly back.

"thank you" i say

"for what?" he asks. he sits down on the bed.

"listening"

"i love listening to you" he stokes my cheek. "you sound so happy talking about them"

"it was a happy time" i say starting to doze again. "stay?"

"sure" he lays down next to me, and i fall asleep, a little uncomftarble in his arms, but i still like it here.

i wake up. i'm too warm, Justin's arm and leg is around me. i try my hardest to get out of bed without waking him and i succeed. i take a shower, without showering my face just like the doctor said. i blow dry my hair and it falls down in its natural waves. i put on some natural make up. i put on a black sweater, it has lace on one of the arms and on the top of the chest, i put on some white jeans and my white Jeffrey Campbell shoes. i also fish out a big fedora that covers my face if i look down a little. good now i can cover my hideous face. 

***

outfit on the side.

Next update: Wednesday

man i'm confused, i don't know what to believe, did he really masturbate in his cell? is it true that three cops faked the drug and alcohol part?, and that the only thing Justin did was drive with an expired license?