I lost, but i fought || J.B

Chapter 17

"i'm sorry that i broke your trust to me" he said

"i love it" i said

"i thought i'd never see your face again" he said. it was like he was talking to himself not to me. "I don't wanna see you cry" a tear fell down his cheek. 

"stop, okay? i don't wanna see you cry either" i said wiping away his tear. he looked me in the eyes. blinked and attacked me in a hug.

"can you ever forgive me" ha asked sounding like he was about to have a mental breakdown anytime soon. could i forgive him? does he deserve it? he looks so broken, but again so am i. maybe i can if i give it some time. 

"i'll need some time" i said breaking from the hug looking at him.

"so maybe someday?" he asked his voice still shaky.

"someday" i smiled a weak smile. 

"you know mom misses you too" he said. Pattie! oh god how much i miss her. she felt like my mom when i was in the hospital. she would scold me when i did wrong and comfort me when i was sad. she was so much help to me. "she was so sad when i called and said you weren't in the hospital and no one would tell me where you were" he said, another tear fell down his cheek and on mine. "she- we did everything we could to find you, but as i told you the day before you left, scooter called and we were going to Atlanta to see him" he took a deep breath trying not to break. "and so much happened to me i had the world tour and i was so stressed" so many tears were falling down our cheeks. "Mom tried her best to find you, she called around and so much" he sobbed. "she got depressed, she cried herself to sleep. i could hear her every night praying for you to show up" he continued. i'm crying silently into my hands. he stops talking and i can hear the sobs coming from him. i look up and see him sitting with his head in his hands crying. crying hard. i take my hand on his back and stroke it up and down.

we are laying in the bed spooning. it' been hours. no one has been looking for us so i guess they thought we needed to be alone. and we did. i feel better, happier. i feel safe.

"Hannah?" Justin says stroking my hair.

"hmm?" i say tiredly

"i was just gonna see if you were awake" he said. i chuckle.

"did you tell your mom that you've seen me again?" i ask

"no" he said sadly

"why?" i ask confused

"because if you hated me you would never come home to my place to see mom, and she would get her hopes up and get sad again" he said deep in thought

"maybe we can surprise her?" i ask getting excited. he looks at me happily

"really?" he asks his voice showing how excited he is

"yeah,i'll come after school" i say yawning

"that would be great" he said "you tired?" i nod. "i'll leave" he says starting to get up. i grab his wrist and hold him back.

"please stay, i have nightmares when christian don't sleep with me, but i'm closer to you so i propably won't have any when you are here either" i say very quickly, but i think he heard me. he smiled big and took his t-shirt off and then his pants. he tries to pull the duvet away so he can lay down under it, but i'm laying on top of it.

"please move" he groans.

"NEVER" i scream. he looks at me frustrated, but the he grins. he jumps on top of me and starts to tickle me. i'm normally not ticklish, but he knows exactly how to tickle me. i'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts.