Letters to the front

Chapter 22 - To summon thee to hell

Edward 

*******

I looked out at the stormy sea. Today, i was going back to france. It was April, and the weather was foul. I had counted the days since Alice left, it had been 62 days since i had last seen her. I would never forget the look on her face when Cecelia introduced herself. The look of betrayal...then leaving with that fucker! 

I had told my parents about Cecelia and i..parting ways. They had not been happy. Well, my father acted disapproving, but i could tell he was secretly delighted, he had never liked the 'new' (and according to my mother 'improved') Cecelia. My mother was furious.

She tried to get me to go and beg for forgiveness, i flatly refused. I remembered the arguement so clearly.

"I don't bloody love Cecelia!" i shouted.

"I don't give a flying toss!" my mother shouted back.

"I won't marry someone like her!" 

"She is a fine match!" my mother fumed. 

"I love Alice!" 

"Edward, you hardly know her and she ran off with some other man without any explaination, she's a whore!"

"Take it back!" I refused to believe that Alice had slept with Sebastian.

"No" she said, stalking out the room, "perhaps your time away will give you time to reflect"

"I can't wait to leave!" i called. 

Here i stood, on the edge of the ship, surrounded by other soldiers milling around the dock, preparing to embark on for some, a one way journey. I stared out into the horizon, out across the channel. It was said people in the coastal communities sometimes heard the noise of the gunners, echoing across the channel, haunting people further. 

The ship roared to life as the engines were lit and we steamed away from the shore line. Men lent over the sides, waving at the huge crowd gathered at the docks. I looked away, a little choked, no one had come to say goodbye to me. Alice's face flashed through my mind, she was like a brilliant light, illuminating a dark and sinister world. 

I looked out onto the horizon, knowing in a few short hours, i would be facing a fresh hell. I remembered a line from Macbeth, 'here it not, Duncan, for it is a knell, to summon thee to heaven or to hell'. 

****

After a long journey on a less then smooth sea, we finally arrived at one of our secure ports. From there we were taken by train to various locations, men getting off along the way. My stop was last, i was pleased i was being reunited with my old team, except Fenderson. I quickly pushed the thought away, i didn't want to think of any more unpleasantness. When i arrived at the station i was quickly transported once again straight back to the line behind. My team were on rotation apparently, and therefore had another week on the second front. 

This line was much quieter, a 'rest' period for us. When i arrived, the team rushed over, shaking my hand and saying how much they had missed me. Johnny hovered at the back and i walked over to him, my eyes were cold, "don't talk to me unless you have to" i said, my voice as hard as ice. He looked shocked and he stared at the floor, not meeting my frosty glare. 

I stalked away, i didn't feel guilty, Alistair was hot on my heels though. "Sir, what's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing" i said, collapsing into the bed in the corner of the room. It was hard and uncomfortable, i had not missed the sleeping arrangements in my absence. 

"We've been through hell and back, you can tell me about what's going on with you and corpral Peterson" 

"A difference of opinion" i said, stretching and throwing my hat onto an unoccupied chair. 

"Uh" he said, "why has the corpral been acting...off" he said, "he never acts like this when you two normally fight"

"Alistair, i have been back less than five minutes, and i am already being interrogated" i sighed wearily, "I know your all curious, but you'll just have to pretend this isn't happening, now LET THIS BE" I emphasised the last words, making sure i was understood. Alistair stared at the floor for a moment, before standing to attention. "Sir" he said, before leaving quietly. I knew i should tell them, but i couldn't bare dreging it all up.

Looking at the bare ceiling, my thoughts spiraled and my lack of sleep caught me off guard, so i drifted and was dead to the world.....

Alice stood before me, her pale skin contrasting with her dark hair and blue eyes. Her cheeks with streaked with tears, and she looked at me with....longing? Dispair?

Marks covered her arms, blood ran down them. She was wearing a wedding dress, it was ivory, like the one she wore to the ball. Her hands were covered in blood and she was holding a syringe. She looked at me again and screamed, "HELP ME!" 

I ran towards her, heart pounding but something blocked me from her, like an invisible shield. She was in the middle of a circle of trees and then a hooded figure made it's way out of the thick fog. She sobbed wildly, and the fog closed in and i realised it was gas, but i wasn't choking, and neither was she. The figure grasped her arm tightly and she screamed again, "EDWARD!" 

"Alice!" i shouted back, my voice desperate. The figure took her hand and slid on a wedding ring, searing the skin. She looked at me, her eyes looked empty and lost, then she stabbed herself with the syringe, slumping in the figures arms. 

He raised his hooded head to me, his voice was thick, "she is mine" 

Then the gas began to choke me. I clawed the air wildly as it filled my lungs, blood covered my clothes and i rolled my eyes back, descending into darkness...

I woke up, my heart was pounding and i was covered in sweat. Outside, i could hear shells going off in the distance and shuddered inwardly, i headed out of the room and poured myself a large brandy, my hand shaking as i did so. I downed it in one. 

"That wasn't exactly a small glass" 

I turned and Johnny was stood at the doorway. "I thought i said i didn't want to talk" 

"So listen" he countered.

"Why should i?" 

"Because you'll want to hear this" he argued.

"I very much doubt it" i said dryly, taking another slug, straight from the bottle.

"Trust me" he said.

"Never did" 

"So stubborn" he laughed.

I stayed silent, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry that you were hurt by the whole Alice thing, it was Cecelia's idea, once i'd told her. I could see you cared for her, and i was worried, because...you had no future and if i hadn't i was worried things would only esculate"

"Your not even sorry for what you did?" i hissed, disgust evident in my voice.

"I'm sorry you were hurt, but the class difference...." 

"Class difference?!" i nearly shouted, but managed to refrain, "get real Johnny, there is no class anymore, only fools who believe that way of life still exsists"

"It does!" Johnny argued.

"Then your a fool" i said, laughing coldly, harshly, my voice was cruel and mocking, "and fools don't last long in this place"