Letters to the front

Chapter 54 - Even stars die

Alice

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The piercing wail of the train blared through my ears, threatening to shatter my ear drums. The trains wheel's clicked against the track, the motors chuntering along at high speed. Out the window, the city had faded and we were now surrounded by country. 

The train had passed through many cities, it briefly stopped, collected more coal and passengers then began moving along once again. Each stations grandeur never ceased to amaze me; the tall imperialist columns that towered skywards, then a maze of arches and bent metal supporting an elegantly crafted ceiling. Edward often smiled slightly at me, thinking I did not notice, but the way his eyes held a hint of amusement was an obvious giveaway. 

The last major city stop before going onto Cumbria was Birmingham. Even at five the station was still packed. Men and women alike hustled through, shouting and chattering away to one another. Many were dragging heavy cases and wearing well made clothes, suggesting their motives for travel purely for pleasure, or perhaps like us, escape. 

Other's were dressed in work clothes, factory workers wandered the station and homeless littered the arch ways. A large group of men were gathered in a corner, holding a collection of signs. 

'Will work for food'

'I fought four years in the great war, but can't even feed my family' 

'Trained mechanic, Taylor and soldier. Desperately seeking work'

Each sign twisted like a knife inside me. I'd seen the extent of unemployment on the London streets myself, and had watched as honest men became savaged and desperate, only wanting a meal, if not for themselves then for their children. Children. The thought made me want to gag, I felt sick thinking about how soon my own child had been snatched from me. His sweet innocent face...his beautiful green eyes, forever closed.

I could not tear my eyes away from the homeless men and completely missed what Edward was saying. "Alice, are you listening?"

"Do you wonder what would have happened if there hadn't been a war?"

My question took him by surprise to say the least. I didn't look away from the men out the window. He followed my gaze and sighed, "Alice, darling, look away" he said kindly.

I shook my head and felt a tear trickle down my cheek. "Do you wonder?" I repeated in a flat voice.

"Yes" he said.

"What's it like?" I asked him.

"It's hard to describe...things are certainly...less ugly on the exterior, but things have changed Alice, so much has changed"

"Those men would still have jobs"

"But at what cost?" Edward asked me as the train began steaming forward again. 

I turned to face him, and tilted my head, indicating a need to explanation. "The world would be the same. Men like my father would continue to run it, the workers would have next to no rights and would still be seen as dirt, those people would be continually downtrodden by my people, but can't you see how things are changing? They have a chance now of escaping that miserable lot. And if it weren't for the war, my life would have gone on as an endless cycle of seasons in London, summer's away at various manors and a different girl in my bed at the end of each evening"

His words stung, but I knew it was true. He saw me flinch but continued, "I would have no doubt ended up marrying Cecelia, and we would have had a few children and continued sleeping around till she grew bored of me and took up a lover of her own. I would get drunk to relieve the pressure of supporting the estate and died old and alone. But because of the war, because of all that pain and death and suffering, I get to have you. I get to marry you and watch us grow old together, enjoying an entire lifetime of happiness. And Alice, I would gladly take all that pain and suffering if it meant I could have you. You, made the war worth fighting for"