Letters to the front

Chapter 35 - Memorial

Alice

**********

When I got back, I was greeted with a welcomed surprise. "Edward" I said, running into my cousins open arms. He rocked back slightly and leaned heavily on his walking stick from my strength and he laughed. "Hello, Ally" he said.

"It's so good to see you! How was Newcastle?" 

"It was...alright" he said, seeming to settle for the word, "sorry I haven't been here"

"Don't be silly! You've been getting a new leg! It's rather exciting" I said.

"Yes, it's metal now" he said, tapping it with his stick, "apparently easier and less stiff than the wooden one"

"I'm glad" I said, linking arms with him and we sat together in the kitchen.

Once we were alone, we sat in silence for a moment. He broke the silence by saying, "Don't marry him, Ally" 

"What? Eddie this really isn't-"

"Don't say it's not my business" he scoffed, "Look, I got a good office job in Newcastle, heck knows how but I did, so money won't be too tight"

"And what if things go south? What if money goes? This is guarenteed security" I reasoned.

"You can't be serious" he said.

"Eddie, I am, and you need to accept it"

"The hell I do!" he said, jumping to his feet, which surprised me, slamming his hands down on the table, his cup shook and tea spilled.

"Ally, there are other ways! Did he threaten you? What about Luitenant Kingston? Or Seb?"

Tears welled in my eyes and I got to my feet, "Edward is dead! Seb is paralysed! I loved them and...and...now...."

"I'm so sorry Ally, but this is not the way" Edward said kindly. 

"It's good to see you're alright" I said, walking out the room. I heard a crash behind me, Edward had a temper. I began to cry and covered my face with my hands and headed down to the stables. It was pitch black now and after crying at the horses for half an hour I headed out to the fields. 

Finding my usual spot I sat, and sobbed, the moon my lonely companion. 

***

The next day was no easier. Edward had let the subject drop, for the moment. In the mean time, I tried to carry on life as usual, I wore my old dress and helped on the farm, though it was freezing outside and it often meant I came inside with numb fingers. 

The winter sun was blocked by a viel of clouds, and breath froze in the air. Still it was beautiful, frost dusting the hillsides like icing, with the dim sunlight glittering on dew drops. It was strange seeing the place now, thinking it's exsistance, at least within our ownership, was hanging in the balance. 

I got to work, tacking up and going for a ride. I checked the crops, walking on Ruby around the edge of the fields. The small shoots seemed to be surviving the harshness of winter, I was surprised by the lack of snow, but was not jinxing it, there was time for it yet. Christmas was fast approaching yet none of us were feeling particularly festive. 

Visting Sebastian was becoming better with each visit, though the war had made him cold and cynical, he had still retained his sense of humour, to an extent and love of the country. We never talked of the future, as it was so uncertain, or the past, as it was too painful for us. 

I was only supposed to be surveying the fields but I knew I had time to make a special stop. I reached a medow, surrounded by a scattering of trees, hidden unless you knew it. I'd wanted to bring Edward one day, but...