Letters to the front

Chapter 28 - No Man's Land

Alice 

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"Alice, would you get me some more bandages from the supply cupboard?" asked Gregory, who was busy tending to a patient. 

"Certainly" I said, rushing down the corridor on a route I knew like the back of my own hand. Once there I opened the door, which was never locked and went inside and began rummaging for bandages. I then came across my worst fear, I eyed the syringe, never removing my gaze. "Alice!" barked Gregory from down the hall, clearly wanting his bandages. 

I picked up the bandages and hurried away, trying to forget the morphine and ignore my sweating and anxiousness. I handed a roll to Gregory, who looked at me with a frown. "Everything okay, Alice?" he asked.

"Just fine" I answered, my voice unnaturally cheery and a fake smile plastered to my face as I checked all the soldiers. They were all fresh faces, and I was no longer 'Nurse Ally' merely 'Nurse' or 'Nurse Hardwick'. That saddened me. 

When my shift ended, I went straight to the mess hall and ate, Gregory checked I had eaten and then I made my way back to my room. 

It was quiet in the dark corridors and shadows cast along the floor, long and lonely, made simply by the moonlight that shone through the windows. I passed the supply cupboard and felt a tug, pulling me back. I had not been so bad recently, but I had never been put in the way of temptation, this was the ultimate test. 

I could not resist, I felt as if I could hear a spectre or ghostly voice, calling me to that cupboard. I turned to the knob and walked into the cupboard, picking up a syringe and examining it, it amazed me that something so little could cause so much damage. 

Suddenly, I was overcome by shaking, I broke out in a cold sweat and crumpled to the floor, biting my lip, desperately trying to hold back the sobs that shook my chest. Gregory found me and took the syringe gently from me and lifted me into his arms, carrying me like I weighed nothing. 

His strength surprised me. He carried me back to my room along the deserted halls. "Well done, Alice" he said, sounding proud of me, in his own way. 

"I'm so sorry" I stammered.

"You didn't take it, that's the important thing" 

"But I came so close" I whispered.

"Doesn't matter, you still stopped" he told me. 

"I need to get changed" I said.

"Shall I wait outside?" he asked.

"You can leave" I said, "i'll be fine"

He shook his head and headed out the door, "I'll wait outside"

I nodded, accepting nothing I said would change this and once I was alone, slipped into my nightie. 

It was warm and had a high collar, I tucked my hands into the sleeves, trying to warm them. Gregory came in five minutes later and watched as I released my hair from the ribbon and hair pins, letting it fall down my back, I said nothing as I washed my face and then climbed beneath the sheets. 

He blew out the candle and leant down and whispered "goodnight, dear Alice" 

I shook at his words, I couldn't believe his forwardness, we were friends and nothing more! The closeness disturbed me, and although I was grateful for his friendship, I did not desire his affections. 

I tossed and turned all night, clinging to the sheets and calling out for Edward. I was grateful when I was woken at five the next morning for my shift, as it meant I did not have to endure any longer of the painful nightmares that plagued my sleep.