Letters to the front

Chapter 56 - Sinful

Alice

*****

Edward continued to make the rest of the week just as special. And although when my cycle came during it, meaning we couldn't have sex, I had to admit I was filled with relief, the thought of getting pregnant again made me feel ill, and I couldn't stand having another child so soon after Eddie's death.

It was saturday, August 20th 1921. I sat in the garden sipping tea, my novel open in one hand, I was finishing Tess off, since I never got too. I was nearing the end, and getting a little emotional as Tess said her goodbye to Angel Clare. I sniffled and wiped my eyes at the part where they took her away.

I reflected that they'd been through as much as Edward and I, it was remarkably similar. I held back more tears the more I read. As the sun was sitting lower in the sky, the shadows became elongated, Edward had gone out on business and I took the oppurtunity to read, Edward seemed to consume most of my time when he was around, not that I particularly minded. 

With a sigh I got up and wandered into the house, feeling depressed having just finished Tess, I wanted to distract myself from the tragedy of it all. After rummaging through several draws, I found a piece of paper and a small pen. Sitting at the desk, I contemplated writing a letter to my family, but after my pen touched the page, I broke down.

I had not been in contact with them since before Edward Sebastian had been born and could not stand the thought. I could imagine my aunt's disappointment, Edward's hurt and my uncle's anger. I tossed the paper into the bin and walked up the stairs, the wood squeaking beneath my feet. 

After changing for dinner, I waited downstairs whilst the cook prepared something. Edward eventually came in, he looked stressed and worried, thinking the worst I leapt to my feet and wound my arms around him, resting my head on his shoulder. He clung to me for a minute and said, "let's get married"

"What?" 
I wanted to, more than anything, but was afraid of his motive for this. "Let's get married" he repeated, "you're right, why should we wait? We've waited long enough, i've waited to long to call you mine"

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked him. 

He sighed and ran a hand through his tousled hair, "Nothing, everything's fine"
"Don't lie" I told him. 

He sighed and took my hands, "It's nothing" 

"Edward" I said softly, "tell me"

"I recieved a phone call last night, my father is in prison, he's been arrested for the suspected murder of my aunt Clara"

I gasped,"Edward that's awful we must help, I'll go pack our things and-" my voice was rushed, urgent as I struggled to formulate some sort of plan. He raised his hand and I stopped talking. 

"My aunt was a foul, ill-tempered bitch, don't feel bad, but this is bad news and means if we delay we won't be able to marry"
"Edward we need to get to gloucestershire, now"

"No" he said, "Alice, i've waited years to marry you and I refuse to wait a second longer"
Seeing no way to deter him I nodded in agreement. "When?" 

"As soon as possible, i'll go to the village tomorrow to talk to the vicar"

"Okay" I said, I couldn't help but be excited, we were finally going to be married.

"I'm so sorry, Alice" he said, caressing my cheek.

"Why are you sorry?" 

"Because you deserve better than this, a big white wedding with all your friends and family, the horse drawn carriage, the stream of bridesmaids, I wanted to give you it all"