Letters to the front

Chapter 40 - Journeys

Edward 

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We'd been sat on the train awhile now. After Alice and I had announced our news a few weeks earlier, it was only a matter of time before my mother telegramed. It was like recieving royal summons, all hell would break lose if you ignored it. So we sat side by side on the near empty train, Alice staring out the window as the country she loved flew past her. 

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded meakly and sipped some of the tea the attendant had brought earlier. Secretly I wished to go to the bar for a large drink and cigerette, but I doubted Alice would be happy about that, and anyway, she'd told me before how she hated the smell of tobacco on my breath, particularly when mixed with whisky. So I had to contend with bitter coffee, the caffine doing nothing to steady my nerves, I suspected she was nervous, though she'd never expressed it, just desire to stay at her uncles, and never really leave Northumbria again. 

She leaned against my side, and sighed, I looked down and saw her eyes flutter closed and smiled at her, she looked so peaceful. I wound my arms around her and her breathing slowed, her lips parting slightly, just looking at them left me longing to kiss them. We sat like that, and eventually she fell asleep, my coat slung over her acting as a make shift blanket. The attendant came back past and I placed my finger on my lips, then gestured to Alice, who was breathing steadily, just as the attendant left, I jumped and then looked at Alice, before realising the sound was her. She sat snoring softly and I chuckled silently, so my fiancee is a snorer? 

It was a welcome distraction against other thoughts that had been plaguing my mind. All I could think of was the upper-class snobs I'd grown up amongst. Being with Alice's family for so long had made me forget what my kind were like; cruel, sadistic, unforgiving. 

My mother would tear the poor girl to pieces, i'd already taken her to Newcastle on route and insisted on buying her a whole new waredrobe, just to soften some of the blows, thinking if she looked like one of them, maybe they'd treat her like one. Still I doubted it. Alice was a farmer's daughter, an ex-nurse, not a wealthy heiress, or a lady, or even middle class. No, everything about her screamed working class, from her slightly tanned skin, earned from days outside and not hiding behind closed doors, her short nails, bitten and worn from work, the slightly rougher texture of her hands from ploughing and hanging on to strong horses in the freezing rain. She was not some pale, blond haired pedigree with a name and title too match angelical looks. 

She was just my Alice. 

******

Alice woke an hour later, yawning then looking up at me. "Good evening" 

She blushed and looked out the window, countering me, "It's not evening"

"Close enough" I dismissed, pulling her too me and putting my lips against hers. She smiled and leaned closer. "I'm the luckiest girl in Britain"

"I'm the luckiest man in the world" I said simply. 

She kissed me again and I had every desire to lay her down on the seats and have her, but I steadied my breathing and pushed away all the things I was so desperate to do with her, it had been so long. "What happened in Germany?" she asked suddenly.

"What?" I repeated, shocked. Germany?

"When you were in that camp" she prompted. I could see sympathy in her eyes, and I wanted none of it, what was done was done, I didn't want to dwell on it. 

"Do we have to talk about this?" I hissed. When I saw the hurt cross her face I regretted it, and took her hand, "the memories are painful"

She nodded, "I understand"

"No, you don't"

"Edward i've seen things too"

"Not like this"

She looked angry, and stood up too leave but I pulled her back down to her seat, "don't"

"Why not?" 

"Alice, you don't understand" I said, trying to control my temper, this was not a good subject for me.

"Fine" she said, going to stand again but I pulled her onto my knee this time. She struggled against me, "don't fight me, Alice"

She stilled and said, "why won't you tell me?"

"Because so many died, and it's hard to talk about"

"I just want to understand" 

"Does it really mean that much to you?" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. 

She nodded, her hair hiding her face, I tilted her chin up to face me and she bore those deep blue eyes into me, leaving me feeling exposed under her intense gaze. 

"Get me a drink and we'll talk" I smirked. She hopped up and wondered off to the bar car, and returned five minutes later with a brandy. I took a large slug as she settled back on my knee, leaning her head against my chest. 

"It was 1916, and we'd been taken trying to defend a village the German's were about to capture, we'd been out on a supply mission and someone from my team had already died, I was desperate to help so agreed to hold the fort"

"We were outnumbered and I sent out a signal shot, and all hell broke loose. Men firing rapidly, trucks drove in with German soldiers, who had machine gunners, there was heavy artillery and I was shot in the leg at one point, after which I passed out. When I woke I was in a German train, my friends were gone, I couldn't find them, I later found out they'd died, and my leg was bandaged, they'd removed the bullet while I was out. After that, the rest is a bit of a blur, we passed through German lines and after a couple of days we got to the camp. Bloody hell was I hungry, couldn't remember the last time i'd eaten, it was like a fire, burning constantly inside me, soon dehydration set in, thought I was going to die.

 "At the camp, I was crushed into what could only be described as a shed somewhere east of the Rhine with seven other men, I stayed there for the remainder of the war"

Suddenly, her arms locked around my neck, her tears staining my jacket. "Hush" I said, "everyday I was there I thought of you, and how I had to survive, just to see you at least one last time"

"I thought you were bothered about the age and were avoiding me!"

"Alice! As if I would ever" 

"I know, but I wasn't sure..."

"Never doubt my love"

"Then don't doubt me" she countered. I pressed my lips against her forehead. 

I saw her love for me in her eyes, and was filled with joy as my lips met hers. "Promise me you'll never leave me" I said.

She blinked away more tears and kissed me, "I promise"