One-shots & Short Stories [Levi | Reader]

Shop Owner! Levi x Hitman! Reader ~ Washed Away {Modern AU}

Sins can't be washed away.

They can't be cleaned.

You can't turn time back and choose the opposite of what placed you right where you are currently.

That was what you knew unconditionally, believing in it with every single fiber in your body and yet despicing it just as much.

What placed you in your condition?

Sure it was yourself.

You were on your own. 

You choose the wrong things to do when the the time of a choice was at your door.

And you were puny.

You hated yourself.

You thought you were weak.

And you were disgusted by that ever so simple fact.

Sometimes you wished your own sins could be washed away. By something or someone. But no such person came and you just kept pilling up your crimes and sins in a giant pile, leaving no space for the small goods, because with what would they matter?

What would it matter if you prayed before breakfast, lunch or dinner?

What would it matter if you helped an elder cross a street or resqued cat from a tree?

What would it matter if you jumped into the sea to resque a drowning kid?

If you helped a stranger or gave a homeless person money?

What?

Who would see that?

Who would care?

No one.

Is the answer you kept telling yourself.

And yet another thing you asked yourself was: "Then why am I doing it despite knowing it wouldn't matter?"

That was a question it's answer you were sure you weren't going to get.

Because again, why did you do it?

Why did you helped an elder cross the street earlier this morning? Why did you gave money to a homeless man? Why did you got a kid's balloon from a tree? Why did you paid for a starving's dinner? Why did you took in a kitten from the street last week? Why did you prayed for all the lives that had been taken?

Probably because you took a lot of them yourself. 

You were a hitman.

You were a criminal.

You killed and got cash for it.

You slaughtered people with family. Kids, mothers, wifes or husbands, brothers and sisters and loving aunts and uncles. 

You felt guilty.

Yet, you didn't stop working.

You never did.

Because as we said, sins can't be washed away, then why try to stop comitting them?

That's right. 

For you there was no purification, no healing, no clean name, and no erased past.

The world you saw was black and white. Perfect opposites. You parted it like that. You never saw it any different anyway.

Walking down the street in the pouring rain, you thought as to how would your cat react to your ever so bleeding body. Yes, it was yourself who caused it.