Taming The Dogs

Fifty

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Chapter 50:

Key

Seeing him in the emotional state he was in made my heart break in two.

"What happened?" He said never once looking at me.

Clearing my throat I sighed before closing my eyes.

"About a a month after you left I found out I was pregnant. I was about four months along and had no clue. I went in for food poisoning and came out with a bun in the oven. I was thrilled about it the first person I called was you but I got nothing in return. I expected it which made finding out about the pregnancy a little depressing with what we had going on." I said looking over at him as he still made no effort to look my way.

"I guess I could've tried a little harder to talk to you, but I didn't want the stress I thought I had time you know? That maybe I'd get further along and you'd come around and we'd hash everything out or at least be friends. Not talking to you really took a toll on me August." I said feeling a fresh set of tears.

Clearing my throat I continued to talk despite how quiet he was. "I didn't tell anybody initially I didn't feel right without you knowing. I wasn't that big so it wasn't hard to hide. Because Chris was around he ultimately found out because I was making myself sick with depression. I had a check up to find out the sex of the baby a week after I hit my five month mark. Chris drove me there just for moral support." I felt the familiar lump for in my throats causing me to squint my eyes closed tightly.

"We never made it to the appointment because we were hit as a man ran a red light. My side of the car was the side that was hit. The impact snapped the babies neck." I sobbed. "I had an emergency c-section and when I came to I was no longer pregnant. They let me see him though." I said remembering that image of our dead baby.

Standing up he walked over to me sitting down on the floor and cradling me in his arms. "Baybeh I'm so sorry you hea' me? I'm so fuckin' sorry Key." He said as he rocked me from side to side as I clutched onto him tightly.

"I shoulda' been dea'." He cried.

Pulling away I grabbed his face in my hands using the pads of my thumbs to wipe away his tears.

"No August I'm sorry." I said to him hoping that his eyes would give me that loving look they once did. "We both went about things totally wrong. It was selfish of me to keep that away from you for so long as if it was only hurting me losing our baby. For that I apologize. I was still hurt that you left me on top of losing the baby so I take the blame on my part."

Sniffing he bit his lip. "You know I neva' left ta' hurt you. When I left I was hurt myself. I left my past and my own pride get in da way of us. When you first hit me up I assumed it was ta' discuss da' relationship. I didn't know how ta' talk ta' you without packin' up and comin' back so I ignored you because das' what I'm use ta'."

"It's ok."

"Nah man it's not ok and it's not ok dat I put my hands on you eitha' das not my characta'. So for dat I'm sorry. I'm sorry fa' not bein' man enough ta' trust you not ta' hurt me and I'm sorry dat you had ta' go through losing our baybeh without me dea'." He said looking at me sincerely with pain still in his eyes.

"We both made mistakes that ultimately only hurt us both in the end."

"But dat don't make it right nor do it change da' fact." August said biting his lip as he closed his eyes.